ta
THE LIBRARY
OF
THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA
LOS ANGELES
I
T K
NTRICITIES
t r
JOHN EDWfN,
In Two Volumes,
JPJJCE EIGHT SHItL{NG«<
ECCENTRICITIES
O F
JOHN ZDtVIN,
COMEDIAN". COLLECTED FROM HIS MANUSCRIPTS,
AN» ENRICHED WITH
SEVERAL HUNDRED ORIGINAL ANECDOTES,
ANTHONY PABQUIN, Esq.
lieu ! qujrn difficile eft glorite ctifttdia. (< WE NK'ZR SHALL LOOK UPON HIS LIKE AGAIN.
& ® B D O J3,
FOR J. STRAHAN, NO 67, NEAR THE'
The prefs has groaned of late with thepro* duttions of Jo many Blockheads, who have Written their own memoirs, or thofe of other ferjons, that I foould have dijdained the at- tempt, bad not Mr. EDWIN, a few days previous to his dilution, requeued, that his papers Jhould be unconditionally given to me 3 to uje as my difcretion might direft*
In the prvfecutiott of this work, I have la- toured to make the interefts of wit and na- tional humor, accord with delicacy — The fmgular complexion of the matter, I hopet will prove a flrong recommendation, ejpecially as it contains a greater number of original anec- dotes, than any other publication extant$ fitid authentic anecdotes are the left ilhiftratiov cf human nature.
"To thoje Ladies and Gentlemen who contributed Jo amply to the embellijhment of t&is undertaking, I return my general
T O
The EARL of BARRVMORE.
My Lord,
I HAVE prefumed to dedicate thefe xrolumes to year Lordmip, from a conviction, that your name will re- flect honor upon my efforts, and in the hope, that they may feebly con- tribute to your felicity — My inten- tion, my Lord, was to make fociety merrier and better — As the language of flattery was never lefs txercifed by any individual than myfelf, I truft your Lordmip will not think me unjustifiably arrogant, when I afTure you, that I mould not have folicited this distinction, had ycu not been ennobled by Heaven, in the pofleffion of a good heartland an excellent under- {landing.
I have the honor to be, my Lord,
With all due refpeft, Your obliged friend and obedient fervant,
ANTHONY PASQUIK,
Jvner Tfmflf,
fet. 20, 1791.
N. B.
3S t&frfe ttDlumes arc enterefc at Stationers Jpall, tu&oetter pirates tjje matter, or copies tlje anccnotej?, tmt?)out fignifging at tfjt fame time r&e publication from tu&ence are taken, toiil tie prpfecuteD,
THE
ECCENTRICITIES
o »
JOHN EDWIN.
\V HEN men become confpicuous in fociety, the World are interested in their minuted concerns : to this motive may be afcribed the labours of a PLUTARCH, and the rewards of a ROBINSON. We are ear- neftly felicitous about the actions of thofe whom we have been taught to admire for the heroifm of their deeds, or the force of their particular merits, andperufe an account of their progrefs through life with as much fatisfaction as we feel in beholding our per- Ibns in a mirror, fondly contemplate on the fimplicity of our purfuits, and the confe- quent pains and pleafures, though the pages VOL. I. B of
'of the Biographer feldom operate to the aj- vantage of the individual he delineates, inaf- much as we become too intimately acquaint- ed with their weakrieflefs., and cannot he- hold them with the fame degree of fublime eftimation, as when we view their character in perfpective. The PRINCE of CONDE, who knew human nature well, lias wifely re- marked, " that no man is a Hero in the eyes of his Valet-de-chambre."
I have no doubt but the following Me- moirs will be read with much avidity by the public, not from any attractive beauty in the compofition, but becaufe they relate to an extraordinary man, who has rendered him- felf by his inimitable comic exertions, the High Prieft of mirth and the delight of a difcerning metropolis.
Had Mr. JOHN EDWIN been as obftinately adhefive to the points of Anceftry as our Caledonian neighbours, he might poffibly have been able to have derived his origin from the illuftrious EDWIN, King of Nor- thumberland, who loft his life in Battle in the year 633 ; but he was abfolutely pofitivc 4 that
C 3 )
that he was a member of the fame farhlly as Sir HUMPHRY EDWIN, Knt. who was Lord Mayor of London in the year 1.698 ; he reluctantly inclined to re fign his title of, affinity to the Monarch, but no human confideration could induce him to give up the Magiftrate.
His Father, JOHN EDWIN, was a watch- maker*, who with a liberality fuperior to his circumftances, gave his fon an education that has fince rendered him eflential fervice in life, particularly his inftructions in the fcience of mufic, which with an happy in- vention and droll manner of delivery, made him indubitably the firft comic finger in the univerle.
Mils mother, HAN JAM EDWIN, was the daughter of Iltmy Hrogden, a ftatuaiy, at York ; a boy and two girls v.vre the iflue of this marriage : JOHN was the firft born, MARY the fecond, and ELIZABETH the third. The lat-. ter, now Mrs. WILLIAMS, is amoft confpicuous character in the metropolis, remarkable for her knowledge of aflro- }o.:y and future events, and is daily confulted at her houfe •in Store ftreet, Tottcnham-court-road, by ladies of the firft di'thction,
v ' B 2 Mr.
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Mr. EDWIN was born in Clare-llreet, Saint Clements Danes, London, on the loth of Auguft, 1 749 j the ill Hate of his health from his birth, until he was nine years of age, induced his father to fend him to a farm- houfe in a healthy fituation in the vicinity of Enfield, where he had not been long before he gave a fample of his acting in a private performance, with fome young gentlemen in that neighbourhood ; fuch amusements then were not embellifhed and attended as they are now ; and inftead of a regular The- atre, young EDWIN and his aflbciates re- ceived their audience in a Stable, where,
" They clcav'd the general car with horrid fpeecft."
And aftoniflied the auricular and ocfilar faculties of fome country Ladies and Gen- tlemen, with their domeftics, by moft WON- DERFUL exertions in mad LEE'S inflated tragedy of ALEXANDER the GREAT ; the Hero of which was the leading fubject of thefe anecdotes, and EDWIN ranted away in a roman fhape, like many of our modern
Traced ians>
< 5 )
Tragedians, without any leading requifite for the character, and totally unaided by any impulie but his puerile prefumption.
After this debut Mr. EDWIN remained at .fchool 'till he was fifteen, at which period we find him in the Penfion-Office of the Ex- chequer, but that employment requiring his attendance only two hours in the day, it afforded him an opportunity of turning his thoughts to his favourite amufement, the ftage, and he foon got imformation of a fpouting club at the French Horn in Wood Street, Cheapfide, where
*< Prentic'd boysalarm'd the gaping Street, «' And did fuch deeds of dreadful note."
To this mirthful convocation of ambitious youth, EDWIN ran with all the precipitation of young defire, and it was there that the fmgular humour of the prefent eftimable Mr. WILLIAM WOODFALL, in OLD Mafk in the MUSICAL LADY, firft fuggefted to EDWIN'S mind a ferious idea ofafluming the character of a Comedian. The follovv- B 3 in£
'( 6 )
ing fummer he fludied the Tankard fcene of Scrub — The part of Simon in the firft aft of the Apprentice, and the firft fcene of Poly - dcre in the Orphan, which, with the fong of " I follow'd a Lafs that was froward and fhy,"--- and thofe of Sir Harry Sycamore in The Maid of the Mill, he concluded might carry him very decently through the following winter, at the begining of which 3 new fpouting feminary was infti- tuted at the Falcon in Fetter Lane. There EDWIN made his firft eflay as an apolo- gy for a man— pafled the ordeal of juvenile criticifm, was warmly approv'd, and foon after chofe one of the fix Managers, in con- cert with Mr. WALDRON of old Drury, and the late Mr. WEBB of Covent Garden Thea- tre, Mr. PUDNEY a young attorney, Mr. WOOD a young tailor, Mr. KNIGHT, lately employed at the Royalty Theatre, and Mr. MOORE, fome time' fince a fchool-mafter in Bath— Mr. EDWIN was always a great ad- mirer of the profefiional merits of the late NED SHUTER, who entertained a great opi- nion of the promifing abilities of our afpi- ring hero, and at feveral convivial parties
at
C 7 )'
at BOB DERRY'S, of meritricious memory uied fi equently to fay, " My Boy, you will be an excellent aclor when I am laid low. " EUWJN'S imitation of that charming actor's longs, and his performance at the Club of fume of his parts, foon attracted the notice of the late Mr. LEE of Drury Lane Theatre, who feeing him enact LAUNCELOT in the MERCHANT of VENICE, which was regu- larly performed in the Club-room on a pri- vate night, engaged him for the enfuing fummer at Manchefter, as a low comedian, at a fettled falary of one guinea a week, and the profits of half a benefit. At this new fpouting club, nominated, the Theatre Royal in Fetter Lane, the ufual mode was to have a man with a ftaff at the door of the room, which was meant as a meafure to give an air of refpectability to the diver- fions of the evening ; the price of admittance was one {hilling, entitling the vifitor to por- ter and tobacco 'till eleven o'clock ; the Ma- nagers not forgetting to referve about twelve or fifteen fhillings each night to carry clown fhirsatthe conclufion of the club, to enable them the more effectually to parry the B 4 aflault»
( 8 )
aflaults of Care and the influence of Mor- pheus, by the powerful afli (lance of good punch and mulled wine.
They met every Friday night, and the Ma- nagers fat alternately two at each time as Prefidents, Moderators and Directors of the dramatic entertainments. They were pofief- fecl of a decent wardrobe, with all the necef- fary appurtenances of Wigs, Truncheons, Swords, Chains, Malks, Thunder, Light- ning, et cetera, in a garret, which ferved as a drefiing-room for the Dramatis Perfon^e.
ec The conceit of thefe Heroes is truly laughableY' faid EDWIN to WALDRON, who were both in the chair—-" in the name of the Mufes, what are we to have to-night B" WALDRON, with a fignificant nod told KDWIN, that two young fellows from the Spouting Cip.b at Norton Falgate, who were irnoaking in the right-hand corner of the room, wiflied to do fomething in the begin- ning of the evening; upon which ED\V;N, with much grandeur of deportment, de- manded of WALDRON if there had been any ih of their ability, and a rrrtainly, that
thr
( 9 )
the dignity of the fociety might not be dif- graced by their efforts j but though WAL- DRON was unable to fatisfy his colleague on that head, as the eftablifhed members of the Society feemed tardy in their operations, the ftage-ftruck Heroes from Norton Falgate were permitted to dalh away ; but their recital of the firftfcene of the FAIR PENITENT, evin- ced the infufficiency of two novitiates, not praftifed in a regular fpouting club, and Mr. ALTAMONT'S unhappy pronunciation of the firfl fpeech ruined him for ever as an a<5tor in the opinion of the critics in Fetter Lane. With much folemnity of mien, and a tore of utterance not unaptly compared to the roaring of a Bull, he began the following imperative declaration :
" Let this aufpicious day be ever facred,
" No mournings, no misfortunes c.frbtn on it,
'* Let it be mark'd for triumphs and rejoicings.
*' Let appy lovers hever make it ol\-y
" Chufc it toblefs their opes and cro\vn their \vifi.0'. ;
*' This apiy day that gives me my KaUfa." ,
The gentle ALTAMOXT had iVarrely finifli- cd when the laugh became loud and genera!,
excepting
C -.o )'
excepting two or. three friends to the young . Tyro, \vho, by clenching their fills and frowning indignant, Teemed difpufed to con- tell the prevailing opinion of the audience. EDWIN, in order to reftore the harmony of the evening, hinted to thofe about him, that he would prepare for SCRUB, for, continued he, with a wonderful deal of conceit and manv fly nods, " there mull be fomething clone." He therefore gave a wink to Mr. KNIGHT, the Archer of the Club, to be ready for that part-— tript up to the garret, turned the hind part of a bob-wig before, put on a red waiftcoat and fleeves, and with a little role pink on his cheeks, his eye-brows blackened with a burnt cork, and a tankard in his hand, he defcended the flairs, met Arcker at the door of the Club-room, which they entered in the ufual mode of that fcene, rmging amidft the acclamations, vociferati- ons, promulgations and expectations of the fmokey ailembly, who were much delighted by the perfonifications of thole actionizing competitors for the Dramatic laurel— Twice in a winter this motley afibciation reprefent-
edL
( II }
ed whole Plays, and at one of thofe per- formances, which was intended to operate as a Metropolitan WONDER in effect as well as name, EDWIN was afked if he could not find a Lady who would undertake the part of Ixis : the reply was- courteous, " he would endeavour ;" and with much inquiry and great difficulty he found a young lennp- flreis who undertook the character, and in confequence rehearfed it feveral times. At the conclufion of fuch practices, EDWIN* always made it a point of duty to accom- pany her to her mother's home, and having been educated in the fchools of focial gallan- try, he never failed in the demand of a chafte falute, to reward him for his enviable atten- tions to the ambitious daughter of Thalia.
The night allotted for the exhibition ar- rived, and Mrs. INIS, who had always re- hearfed in a long cardinal, was now feen in a jacket and petticoat in the full difplay of her divine perfon, and all the ladies and gentle- men interefced in the comedy ftruttcd about: the club- room behind the curtain in their
bell
bill bibs and tuckers. — The part afligned to EDWIN was FREDERIC -} ofcourfe he had but. little to do in the piece, and to his extreme mortification no fcene with INIS; but the regret was of Ihort duration, as he received the difagrceable information that the lady whom he had introduced was found very defe&iye in perfonal grace, for as fhe was in the heat of action with LISSARDO, and forgetting her corporal infirmities, Hie raifed her right arm, which was ftiff and immovable in the elbow-joint, and {truck the facetious valet fuch a tremendous blow on his fide as made the comical comedian reel under the impreflion of delicacy — the audience burft into a fit of laughter at the oddity of the action, and poor EDWIN was publickly rallied for his ignorance of female proportions, and the introduction of a lady Jo extremely defective and inappropriate to the character— During this xra of gallantry, {pouting, and adolefcence, EDWIN was made frcretary to i\ truft of a ?/lr. John EDWIN of George Street, Hanover Square, a diftant relation, who died, leaving near 50,000!. to
be
( 13 )
be diftributed in public charities, and had appointed twelve truftees to fuperintend the bufinefs~the principal of which, a MI-.WAY, was alfo one of his executors, and fub-go- vernor of the South-Sea Houfe.
That gentleman, fully fenfible of the folly of his deceafed friend, in leaving a kinfmandefti- tute— his donations to be expended in charities and given to objects totally unknown to him, from an impulfe of juftice made EDWIN fecretary. The committee met twice every winter, and to this poft was annexed an an- nual falary of thirty pounds with douceurs from the fund, and other contingent advan- tages. The truftees, who were all old men,, foon departed in peace to deep \vith their fathers, and their fons were deputed in their room; but this change of government v,-as not for the advantage of the property ; the principal was loon fwailowed up by the dif- Jipaticn of the new guardians.
When EDWIN Id tins fccrctnrvfhip, -which
he held only one yea;-, he pofibfial five
5 hufiuicd
( H )
hundred pounds in fpecie, for which fum he was indebted to the kindneis of Mr. WAY, and meant as a fecurity for his going into the South-Sea Houfe in the capacity of ac- comptanc, the gentleman who then held that office, Mr. MONTAGUE, being very old and infirm.
A ftrong propenfity for dramatic purfuits, howeverjOvercame every other confederation, and prompted EDWIN to make an early at- tempt, and climb the ftupendous hill of public fame — he took, as it is termed, French leave of his relations, and went off a la four dine* But previous to his departure,, in order to aflifl his father, whofe circum- fiances were rather embarrafled, and to operate as a palliation for commencing actoij
'~ Emv IN 's father, when the comedian was only fifteen years of age, offered to give 50!. toward:-, creating an or- gan in Islington church, provided the parii'i would make hi- i')ii organ ift ; however the offer was rejected r>y thcpa- riih, under the idea that they could not aiVord to pay a fa- lary.
and
and disappointing the old gentleman's -future hopes in the intended line of life marked our for him, EDWIN drew the money from Mr. WAvandmade the fool.aprefent tohis father, • together with iome other valuable properties, and began the world almoft as deftitute of drapery and focial accompaniments as the firft fublunary parent of humanity. — He commenced an actor of old men at the the- atre at Mancheiler, then under the manage- ment of Mr. LEE, in the year 1765, and in the fixteenth year of his age. J u s T i c L WOODCOCK, and Sir HARRY SVCAMOR:, were alfo reprefented in that town by our juvenile adventurer, who foon found, from the generous plaudits of the audience, he- had no eflential reafon to regret that he had left a dull tkough certain livelihood in fearch of the adventitious rewards of erratic genius. Previous to his leaving London he played the part of QUIDNUNC in the UPHOL- STERER at the Haymarket Theatre in ih;: winter, for the benefit of a family in difbrels and anew print o^the day (the Public .gcr) regiitered this attempt in the mod flat- ter ing phrafes of approbation. A youth 01*
•
iixteen playing old men, was then confidered as a fort of phenomenon in the Dramatic Hemifphere, but the affumption was fortu- nate, for EDWIN, it is probable, then laid the corner (lone of his high and enviable reputation ; the example and fuccefs of SHUTER had roufed his feelings, and OLD MEN continued his choice for feveral years, though it has fince been difcovered that characters of a younger feature were more fuited to his ability.
It is fcmewhat extraordinary that a man fliould play old men in his youth, and young ones when more advanced in life ; but not- withftanding EDWIN has been- a tenant of this vile planet exactly forty two years, his perlbnal appearance was youthful, and his powers and vivacity as Itrong as ever.
-.vr N lef: London to commence his the- a:ric probation, accompanied by Mr. WAL- - • , and a Mifs. WESTRY, who were like- wife engaged by Mr. LEE j— their finances bf ing low, their mode oftravelling was a mat- ter of ferious debate between this timely
league
( '7 )
league of the fexes,— but Mr. who has much adroitnefs on fuch prefling occafions, found a return Poft Chaife going ail the way to Manchefter, which for a tri- fling confidcration conveyed them to the place of action, tho* the journey was notun- clogged with difficulties. They were over- turned the firfl day— -on the fecond, as this triumvirate \vere fitting at dinner, the chairs on a fudden, like an electrical fhock, or a Pantomime trick, were unhinged from the braces ; and as if Harlequin had given a flap with his wooden fword to effect his wonder- ful magic, the bottoms of thefe actorlings faluted the floor. The horfes were jaded on the third, and feemed holding a converfation at every acclivity whether they fhould mount, infomuch that the inhabitants of the leathern conveniency we; e doubtful that every hill would put an end to their journey, for which reafon EDWIN deflred the driver to put a cloth over the horfes eyes every time they got in and out the chaife, that the quadrupeds might not fee there were three people to draw , ima- gining that the animals might give a nega- VOL I. C tive
tive to their motion, and difpute the pro- priety of the number, as perfons do in a ftage coach, and tell both them and the driver that they have no right to draw more than two : however, by the expediency of EDWIN'S remark, the cloth was continually placed over the eys of the Rofmantes, and when the driver gave a fmack of his whip, the horfes cried WE or our, which the motley group underftood as exclamations in bad French, fignifying, that they would perform as well as they could.
Soon after their arrival at Manchefter Mrs. BADDELEY, who had then only perfor- med a few nights at Drury Lane T heatre> became a member of their itinerant body ; her hufhand was engaged at Liverpool, and the diftance being not quite forty miles, he contrived to pay her a vifit once a week : during his abfence, that beautiful Phryne of the Stage, gallanted freely with the roving blades of the Town and her comic bre- thren: and it was then remarked that a more amorous fet of Theatrical females never delighted the youth of Manchefter.
Mrs.
( >9 )
Mrs. BADDELEY vifited Mifs WESTRY, and EDWIN, who lived in the fame houfe, being then as young on the ftage as the la- dies, there were frequently private rehear- fals of fainting, embracing and dying, which to perform well makes up no inconfiderable part of theatric excellence ; and fo per fon ally charming were both the females, that every Man in Manchefter from feventeen to feven- ty would have been moft happy to have en- joyed fuch blifsful opportunities—The whim- ficality however of the ladies, and their ap- plication to ftrong waters made them fome- times appear rather fingular in deportment, and a fainting fit in the middle of a part was as frequent with moft of the actrelTes of that Company, as the nights of playing.
In the houfe where KDWIN lodged and boarded were alfo Mr. GRIFFITH, Mr. KEASBERRY, Mr. WALDRON, Mrs. BROOKS, and Mifs WESTRY, all of them adherents to the Drama— An Officer on half pay, pro- verbial for his oddities, and who valued himfelf on his gentility, obferving a pleafant prt of intimacy fubfifting between feme of C 2 the
the mafculinc and feminine children of Pro- teus, earneftly requefted to make one of the party, and \vas in confeqnence frequently very peremptory and troublefome; faid he muft be introduced to the ladies, and that quickly j fpoke of delays in love and war being equally dangerous— animadverted on his fuperior fkuation--the lawfulnefs of an at- tack on any Female lie chofe to take up arms againft, and the powerful charms of a red coat— defcanted loudly on the honour of a foldier, and the g!orious deeds of heroes from Hector down to William the Conquer-? er— fpoke particularly of the defender of Proteftantifm, and efieemed himfclf for pof- fefling the fame name. But Mr. GRIFFITH, yclept RICHARD by his godfathers and god- motheij$r who had often performed the third Britilh King of that denomination, thought he had even greater pretenfions, having per- fonated the royal Reformer with fuccels, and beingof a good family, a man of fpirit, and quite, as we call ir. a Gentleman Actor, ima- gined the balance of gentility in his favor, and therefore difputed 'the pafs---CApT,\iv was warm—- KIXG RICHARD in a ra^e,
a rage, and the family in a buttle— Mrs. BAD- DELEY and Mils WESTRY were flying about as Aid-de-Camps until the dreadful difpute came to an iffue— The Captain began the attack, by an application of his right leg to RICHARD'S perfonal feat of honour; but the KING having with his left hand caught the leg of WILLIAM in an horizontal pofition, he had but one hand at liberty, and the Cap- tain but one leg. Here the reader muft figure to himfelf two perlbns fo fituated— The def- endant of iMars hopping upon one leg, and making ufe of both his fills ; and drumming away upon the body of the temporary mo- narch—The Monarch hopping fometimes upon one leg, that he might make a vigo- rous application with the other, pumnutting away with his right hand, and with the other holding the Captain's pedal extremity— • The women fcreaming— dogs barking, the men chearing each party, and all the houle in confufion-— A fail terminated the conceit ; the Captain was worfted ; but fome brandy and diaculum plaifter reftored the fpirits and aileviared the bruifes of the combatants.— The Captain gave way to the KING, and C their
their little government was freed from the martial approaches of anarchy— The officer's libations were more frequently offered up to Bacchus than Mars or Venus, and his un- reftricted feftivals with the former, rendered him unfit for the proprieties of the latter ; to fpeak plainly, he generally came home tipfey. Being in that ftate one night, he tum- bled into a dry ditch, and v/as obferved by a perfon pafimg by lying on his belly, and in the a<5t of ftriking out his arms and legs ; he was immediately taken up, and being afked if he was wounded, the ditch being deep and dry; replied with much feeming piety, "no, thank God, I am not hurt, but it was a great blefling that I could fwim, for otherwife I mufl certainly have loft my life."
I fhall now quit the epifode and return to the immediate narration. Before the con- clufion of the performances that fummer, Mr. GRIFFITH, as agent to Mr, MOSSOP, en- gagedEovviN at the enormous falary of thirty ih tilings per week, to ena<ft at the theatre- royal in Smock-alley Dublin— under the hope of fhaking off an ague, which he had acquir'd
by
by going into the Duke of Bridgewater's im- provements, and to take leave of his friends before his departure from his native ifland, he vifited London for a fhort time, and then let out big with jocund expectation for • the mirthful regions of Hibernia.
Previous to his quitting the Britifli Metro- polis, he was furnilhed with fome money and a watch by his father j but waiting for a wind at Parkgate, the delay eventually reduced his cafh, and being obliged to hire horfes for Holyhead, he was under the dif- agreeable neceffity of leaving his time— piece behind as a necefTary fecurity for the fum re- quifite on that occanon j but the difcomfi- ture was not ruinous to his good fpirits, as he fung in that inftant, <f Time flies fwift and will away," and repeated emphatically the hacknicd expreffion, that " time and tide wait for no man." Impelled to the dramatic conflict by hope's faired images, he was ea- ger to be on board, and impatient to bring himfelf to an anchor in Dublin; for, the truth was, he knew himfelf difencumbered not only of coin., but of every portable thing that C 4 could
could be pofilbly converted into that bate Iburce of human commerce. Thus circum- ftanced he crofied the bar of Dublin bay with a fair breeze, was (leered luckily between the two Bullsy touched the corner of Ritigs- end, and entered the hofpitable gates of Eb- lana, unblcfied wiih a Jpiendid ihilling.
Immediately on his arrival, EDWIN" thought it neceffai y to make ibme enquiries after Mr. CHRISTII , at that time Treafu- rer and privy counfellor to Mr. MOSSOP, if we may be allowed to apply the term treafu- rer to an individual in the habits of guard- ing ideal wealth ; but EDWIN foon difcovered that the porTeffion of money was not abfo- lutely neceffary for a man's well being in that merry capital, as Mr. CHRISTIE procured him a lodging in a two pair of flairs back room in Cole's Alley, the refidence of phi- lofophy time immemorial, where good eating and dunking was attainable upon credit.
A few days after the convivial ED\VINT was landed in the ifle of Saints, he was fcr-
mally
( *s )
mally introduced to Mr. MOSSOP, the Ma- nager, who teemed much aftonilhed to fee fo young an adventurer, and exprelfed his amazement that a youth of fixteen fhould feel fo irrefiftable an inclination to receive the wounds of criticifm, and perfonate the characters of old men —
The Theatre at Dublin was at that period neither in eftimation as a fchool of morality, or proverbial as to its immenfe profits -, and EDWIN often experie/ced the mortification of non-payment— As Mo .v SOP reprefented Operas, EDWIN was of fome ufe in the Ther atre, but not fufnciently fo to make the combined efforts of him and his brethren productive, and they very often retired from the Treafury on a Saturday morning as pennylefs and crefl-fallen, as fo many credu- lous dolts who had received a final anfwer from their folicitor after nine years legal conteft in the unfathomable gulphs of chan- cery, for the eflablifhment of right,
MOSSOP caft his ferious and Comic Operas with fome degree of ftrengthj
TF.N-
( 86 )
TENDUCCI, PERETTI, CREMONINY and Mifs BROWN, fupported the former, while Mifs CATLEY, EDWIN, RYDER, and WILDER gave importance to the latter ; but to fum up the confeqnence in a few words, the re- tainers of Phoebus were not then in fo much requeft as they are at prefent---focial difcord was more feducing than Theatric harmony —the players were good—the payments were bad, and the unfortunate labourers literally ftudied and ftarved —
The firft character that EDWIN performed in Dublin was Sir PHILIP MODELOVE, in the BOLD STROKE for a WIFE, and as in that part very little is expefted by the Au- dience, they were not difappointed by the execution of the Actor-— Soon after Mr. Moss OP got up Mr. COL MAN'S chef tT'&Hvre, the JEALOUS WIFE*": the principal charac- ters of that Comedy were caft as follow.
* In the year 1780, Mr. COLMAN went over to Dublin Briefer the idea of managing Crow-ftreet theatre in the winter-months, but found matters fo deranged, as obliged him to quit the defign — during his ftay he fa\v the plav of the JEALOUS WIFE acled, and told me he did not know fcia own piece, it was fo imperfectly done,
Mr.
( 27 )
Mr. Oakley, - Mr. MOSSOP.
Major Oakley, Mr. GLOVER.
Charles, Mr. REDDISH.
Sir Harry Beagle, - Mr. RYDER.
Trinket, Mr. EDWIN.
AND
ji, Oakley, Mrs. REDDISH
All the above parts were in excellent hands, except that of LORD TRINKLT, for EDWIN, who had performed only old men, and low comedy parts in Manchester the preceding Summer, found himfeif very aukward in the draperies of a Lord, and, to do him juflicc, his apprehenfions were well founded, for though any thing will pafs fora Lord in a drawing room on a birth day of Royalty, either as to perfon or deportment, the public on this occafion in a moll ex- traordinary degree depart from" the fuggef- tions of truth, and expect that the fcenic re- preientatives of peers fhould LOOK and ACT like MEN.
But to return to my Hero-— the habili-
ments of grandeur did not tally with his
4 genius,
geiiius, and the bag and fvvord made him appear as outre and fingular, as poorOMAi when he was firfl introduced at St. James's caparifoned as an European gentleman.
In a particular fpeech when LORD TRIN- KET receives a mortifying reproof from CHARLES, EDWIN experienced one alib from die Audience, for upon his faying, " I cut a mighty ridiculous figure here, upon ho- nour !" feme of the wags in the Theatre immediately replied with great vociferation — ." You do indeed !"- -fuch a retort, one might fuppofe, would have fkkened the youth for a bag wig in future, yet we find him the following fummer and at other times contending for the fops parts.
The next character he affumed was JUS- TICE WOODCOCK, his fuccefs in which amply atoned for his former difgrace, and he con- tinued through that feafon, either an OLD MAN, a THIEF, a CLOWN or a CONSTABLE,
MOSEOP was at this time in the very senith of his glory as to acting, but alas he
was compelled by neceflity to imitate the phi ofophic exclamat on of Cato., to his Company :
«' Ladies and Gentlemen, we cannot command fuccefs, " But we have done more, we have deferved it."
For it was not his indifputed excellence in ZANGA, RICHARD the third, SHYLOCK; or the DUKE in MEASURE for MEASURE, that could bring occupants to the benches of his Theatre The multitude are too fre- quently governed by caprice and foilyj and it is not always that the gentle minif- try of reafon can overpower their didates--- Exclufiveof this remark, the united ftrength of Mr. BARRY and Mis. DANCER* at Crow ftreet Theatre, aided by a better Comic company than that of Smock Alley, frequently diminifhed the receipts of the latter— And as two Theatres have ever been and perhaps ever may be too much for Dublin, both muft feel the bad effects— and EDWIN declared, that when a member of
* Mrs. DANCER.*S maiden name was STR.EET, her fa- ther was an Apothecary at Bath— {lie married an Atfor whofe name me bore in Dublin, after that me wedded Mr. BARS.Y — and her prcfent name is CRAWFORD.
Smock
C 30 )
Smock Alley, the Performers have waited until money came in at the different doors, to buy candles, and redeem fuits in pawn proper for the performance, which has been retarded on that account fometimes until nine o'clock, and MOSSOP and his Comedi- ans have broke in upon the ftricb rules of moral propriety, and reprefented the laft .Act of a Farce at one o'clock on a Sunday morning- -In the middle of Mr. MOSSOP'S feafon, EDWIN received an invitation from Mr. RYDER to go to Waterford in the Sum- mer, and perform under the management of that Gentleman ; he was offered a capital caft of parts, and that offer was fweetened by rhe kindneffes of Mr. RYDER and his family, which EDWIN experienced in a very eminent degree—- In the interval between figning the agree- ment and fetting off for the place of defti- nation, Mr. RYDER gave EDWIN an invi- tation to his houfe at Drumcondra. On the nrft vifit, during the adminiftering of tea, Mrs. RYDER made inquiries of her gueft, as to his religious perfuafion, and being in- formed that he was a proteftant, fhe imme- diately
diately produced a Bible, and made EDWIN, her Hufband and Daughter follow her ex- ample, by reading a chapter in that facred volume. This was rather an aukward event to the laughing EDWIN, for tho' he valued himfelf upon his faith in revelation, and would have died in defence of its doctrines with as much intrepidity as any of Fox's Martyrs, he had never made the pages of the infpired fathers his particular ftudy : however to oblige the Lady, he read the tenth chapter of Nehemiah with good difcretion and proper emphafis.
That ftrong conjugal affection which marked Mrs. RYDER'S manner— her praife- worthy attention to her family— and great politenefs to all around her, produced, as the actors phrafe ir, a foliloquy in our young comedian, and EDWIN thought ferioufly for the firft time that marriage was a glorious inftitution.
The Theatre Royal in Smock-alley was at this time in a flate of confufion- —poverty and anarchy governed its dependants by
turns,
C 34 )
turns, and notwithftanding EDWIN'S falary was inconfide able, he found one week fucceeded another without any recompence for his profeffional induftry — Eager to avail himfelf of every mode of raifmg mo- ney, he adopted a venial fraud, and that was, to walk into a Spunging-houfe on forne night when he was the principal in the entertainment, on what is termed a frl wit, and then lend word to the treafuref that: fix or feven pounds were neceflary to liberate him from durance vile- -This piece of ingenuity was effectual in feveral in- flances— the congratulations of the Green Room veriued the expediency 'of the mea- fure, and EL WIN was often mentioned as a very clever fellow in what they termed doing the manager.
I have before obferved, that MOSSOP was poor and embarrafied, his fituation there- fore demanded fecrecy and fecurity, and the lafl night of his feafon was never made pub- lic for reaibns too palpable to notice.
EDWIX>
C 33 )
EDWIN wanting money to bear his ex- pences to Wateiford, and not knowing the manager's policy, unwittingly chofe that very night to pay another vifit to the fpung- ing-houfe, in the foiorn hope of railing a few pounds ; but in this effort his better genius failed him, and he had the mortifica- tion to walk out again without the required iupply ; for though he was to fill a princi- pal character that evening, an apology was made to the public—the part was read by a Mr. DUNCAN, and MOSSOP dole a march on his creditors, by taking his final leave of the audience for that feafon.
Amid the dramatic recruits for the fum- mer, was a Mr. GEORGY, a Dutchman, who was engaged as firft fiddle, and this inmate of Orpheus being as deftitue of tem- poral conjforts as EDWIN, they agreed con- jointly to lay fiege to Mr. RYDER the coun- try manager's generofity, who was going out in that capacity for the firft time ; by this manoeuvre they procured the loan of a guinea and a half, with a recommendation
VOL. I. D CO
( 34 )
to fome people at Waterford- to afford them relief on their arrival.
This fum, though inconfiderable, pro- -duced a fort of hilarity in the mule-hunting twain— -the Dutchman becoming active as well as rich, propofed fome of the gymnaf- tic fciences for their embrace, and the fchool-boys trick of/<?//co; the leader was accepted by ED WIN* -—a wide ditch prefent- ing itfelf, GEORGY undertook to jump over it, and to remove all impediments to mo- tion, pulled off his fhoes and (lockings, but as it is well known that the bottoms of the Eelg£ are as heavy and inert as their heads, I fuppoie it will not furprife the reader to underlland that the Dutchman's beft efforts could only convey him to the middle, where he ftuck immerled in filth up to the arm-pits— EDWIN with a roar of laughter, exclaimed \vith FaUtafF, " there " lies Honour for you "---With much dif- ficulty the fiddler was dragged from this bed of pollution, and EDWIN conveyed him to his lodgings, where the timely application of fome pails of water restored his. perfon to
-A ftatc
( 35 )
a ftate of cleanlinefs, and a few bumpers ot Currant Whifkey recovered his fpirits from depreflion.
After one night's facrifice to Morpheus, they got up, and commenced their pedef- trian march to Waterford, a journey of near ninety Engiifn miles— unluckily the 1 morning proved rainy, which fatigued the minftrel, and difpleafed EDWIN io much, that after perambulating fourteen miles, both parties felt themfelves extremely un- comfortable ; and the burfting of the Dutchman's (hoes, which he had purchafed but the day before in John's- lane, obliged them to take fheher in a Dry Lodging * at
NAAS,
A dry lodging in the interior pavt of Ireland, is gene- rally found in a fmall cabin or hut Iniilt with mud-walls, and covered with thatch ; in the middle of this carravan- fera they ufually make a turf-fire, round which the family, travellers, pigs, and poultry take their ft and — in the cor- ners they are accuftomed to fpread ftraw, which > the poor people for a bed, and at the bottom of every couch a blanket is fixed to the ground by two large nails, which at night they draw over their perfons and flcep ai roundly, and I hope as h.ippily, as the reverend fathers ia D 2 Gad
( 36 )
NAAS, the afllze town of the county c* Kildare, where fome falutary reft upon a ftravv-buih bed, with eggs and bacon, and two pipes of mundungus, procured from an old huckfter-woman in the neighbourhood, three inches in length, incrufted with faliva, and as black as Rhadamanr.hu s, raifed their drooping fouls, and gave them a fufficient degree of boldnefs to engage a car * with a fack on it, to trundle them
God upon their beds of eider down* — When the hum- ble pofiefTor of the mud-manfion has wealth enough to fell a horn of malt or a noggin of whifkey, it is 'fignified to the thirfty pedeftrian by {ticking an old pipe in the thatch with a rag dangling at its end — the nightly demand for refreih- inent in thefe dormitories is two-pence!
'•'•' Cars in Ireland form the only meLliod of conveying goods from one town to another ; their fize is fmall, and go very near the ground ; they cany upon an average about a ton each.and are drawn by a fingle horfs — they ar» admirably fuited to the wants of the Irifh paafantry, and even perfons in a genteel fituation of life, often make ufe of them in their parties of pleafure ; their mode on fuch. occafions is to throw a fack or carpet ever the fuvface, upon which three or four perfons -ufuaHy fit, and are car- ried in that manner to the end of their jonrney, filling up the intervals of time by drinking, laughing, fmokir^j, and every other fpecies of focial har-incuy.
( 37 )
back again to the fmokey metropolis of lerne.
On their return to Dublin their firfl reft- ing-place was at Temple-bar, which fur- nifhed at that time, and perhaps now, fuperb hotels for the accommodation of wandering gentlemen.
In this new habitation of the actor and fiddler the remainder of the guinea and a half was foon expended in the united luxu- ries of warm whifkey-punch and a beef- fleak. — Mr. RYDER was, fortunately for thefe eccentrics, ftill in the capital, and the re- appearance of his recruits, for a frefh fupply of ca(h, threw the country manager into the utmoft aftonifhment: " I thought ef by this time, gentlemen," faid RYDER, <e that you were fafe depofited at Water - -". ford."— -fc No, fir," rejoined EDWIN, c£ we ought to have been, but our ill ftars, " vou leca have decreed it otherwifc >- •
C 3« )
-'Tistrue, 'tis pity,
And pity it is 'tis true ; a foolifli figure, But farewell it, for I will ufe no art — " Mad you may grant us then ; and now remains That you find out the caufe of this efietf, Or rather fay the caufe of our tlefecl."'
Yor. know, Sir, it is our duty to fubmir. to the Gods, To I fay nothing"— -GEORGY, though a good mufician, was terribly out of tune at feme fentiments which his ear drank from the mouth of the manager, and ED-' vriv, to remove all antipathies, frankly declared that the Son of Orpheus and him- felf were both bale men.
The obligation of their going to Water- ford being urgent, and Mr. RYDER not able to purfue his managerical fcheme without their afiiftance, reluctantly advanced them another guinea and a half— the unfortunate pair departed, and with the aid of a Noddy*
arrived
* A fort of one horfe chaife in which two or three travellers may be conveniently lituated, the Charioteer v.-ho drives the machine fits upon a ftool elevated upon tlit: {hafts, juft upon a level with the Travellers nofcs —
il
( 39 )
arrived at the field of Battle in ibmewhat more than two days.
In purfuance of their letter of recommen- dation they took up their abode at a Gro- cer's Shop*, where for want of employment (the company not being ready to perform) the game of Cribbage was introduced, and4 in lieu of cafti, this thoughtlefs brace of ad- venturers {ported Stockings againft Stock- ings, and Handkerchiefs againil Handker- chiefs, until they agreed that the whole of each wardrobe fhould be played for as one grand Hake, when fortune frowned upon the iti-
it has been obferved that thofe perfons have been loudcft in their praife of tioddie* whofe olfactory nerves are molt imperfect •
f* A Grocer's (hop in the country towns of Ireland and even in the capital is materially different from a fhop of the fame denomination iu England — their principal articles of confumption are WhHky, Claret, Brandy, Rum, IIol-- hnds Gin, London Porter, Tobacco of all forts, Strung Beads for Roman Catholics, Colours for Painters, ground Starch, Pummice Hone, Tea, Sugar, Currants, Rail'ms, Tigs and dried Pilh
D 4 nerant
( 40 )
nerant comedian, and the contents of ED- WIN'S cheft of brown-paper was inflandy transferred to the reftricted bundle of the triumphant Fiddler.
To this humiliating circumftance was added another -y the Grocer produced his bill for board and lodging, and other inci- dental expencesj this operated like a thun- der bolt upon the faculties of EDWIN— he reflected ferioufly upon his conduct, and a reform as well as mortification were the profitable confequences%
Our Hero had the good fortune to pleafe the town as an Ador, but the feitivity of the Iriih gentlemen prevented that clofe attention to the duties of his fituation which prudence commanded : Bacchus and Mo- mus frequently flood in his way, and the "prevailing influence of thofe merry Gods made him apparently a focial devil—- About this time EDWIN conceived a paf- 3 fioa
C 4i )
'lion for the Wife of a Sea "Captain, whofe Huiband
«' "Was to Aleppo gone, Mafcer of the Tyger."
The Lady was beloved at the fame time by the Diitch minflrel, and the corroding paffion of jealoufy feparated the t\vo inti- mates, and even a challenge was in agitation; as far as appearances could be relied on, EDWIN was the favoured rival ; his perfonal addrefs in ROME«, CAPTAIN MAC^AI^T, and GEORGE BARXWELL, made a wonderful impreffion upon the fenfibility of the fair object of contention, and threw the mufidan with his Bars, Refts, Crotchets and QU-VERS at an immeafurable diftance, and efrabiifhed the minifter of Moinus as the firft fiddle and bed compofer of a fpeech for the ear o£ his beautiful miftrefs.
The D utchman's defect made him defpe- rate, and he icon contrived to evince the force of his malevolence by his ungentleman-
like management of the orcheflra : The
comic opera of the MAID of the MILL
furnilheci
ftirniihed an apt occafion for the execution of his malice; for when EDWIN, who w,r> in high eftimation for his finging in Sir HARRY SYCAMORE, attempted the fongs ot' that part, the perturbed defcendant of Am- phion let down the ilrings of his violin, and influenced the reft of the band to do the fame ; the difcordant mixture of found:; occafioned by this manoeuvre was fufficiently terrific
« to affright the iile from its propriety,''
and not unlike the quarrelling for places in the upper gallery of a theatre, or the echos of Biliingigate on a market morning.— It Ihould be noted, that EDWIN ever after this; affair has been difgufted by the idea of a DUTCH CONCERT.
I will leave the fiddler for the prefent and advert to the actors, who were like the generality of ftrolling companies., made up of raw recruits, whom
*' Their country vomit forth to defperate actions .and -a jure deftru£tion."
B-ut
( 43 )
But their charadteriftic merits were merc- ifully explained by fome lines made by a wag of Walerfordj which to fpeak truly were aptly applied, and properly fatirized their profeflionai inabilities—
" I pi ay ye gentles common fenfe rofpcft,
The art of ading well we don't exped: ;
But yet we wifh with all our hearts,
That you would get your parts ;
For as it ftands, upon my foul,
The prompter fpeaks and plays the whole."
A young comedian in the country con- tents himfelf folely with the reputation of having his name in the play-bills for a good part, without labouring to know the direct letter of the colloquy, much lefs the meaning of the Author; and many an actor, almoft in a ftate of fecond childhood, has claimed the part of a lover, for no reafon more material than his having played the fame character fixty years before.
Our callow mouther of heroics began now to difcover, like many great men, that the more his importance was amplified as
an
( 44 )
an Actor, the more his felicities were re-
nioved as a man he fek, that his
compeers for Theatric honours could not bear a rival -his intentions were prejudged— his pretenfions ciifputed with petulance, and his good name became fullied by the breath of calumny.
The force of flander in all flages of fociety is a circurnftance that can never be fuffici- ently regretted, and hoftile to the beft ends of our being— what I underftand by fociety, is a ftate of mutual confidence, reciprocal fervices, and correfpondent affections • when numbers are thus united there will be an interchange of fentiment and action, ho- nourable to cur nature and beneficial to our fpecies; but when fpee'ch, that peculiar blefling of man, only Operates as the inftru- ment .of obloquy to fecond the purpofes of ruin, I am inclined to wonder that the Om- nipotent fhould intruft a power fo dange- rous to a race of babbling ar.imals, who feem wantonly to murder luiman peace, unaccompanied by the pangs of remorfe or the dread of refponfibility.
Aftors
( 45 )
A dors are extraordinary people, and the circumllance of one leaving a Theatre be- caufe they denied him the performance of the COCK in HAMLET, and another laying claim to all Ipecies of fops becaufe he pof- iefTed a bag wig and a fvvord, will verify, in two inftances out of a thoufand, that they a3 well as the reft of mankind are not free from propenfities at once fatal and ridiculous.
KDWIN was not wholly uninfecled with this profeffional mania, and though he had a partiality for the Beaus of Comedy, re- filled playing the character of BRAZEN-, merely becaufe the regimental coat he had felecled in the wardrobe had been previoufly engaged by RYDER for the illuftration of CAPTAIN PLUME, and left another com- pany bscaufe the Manager infilled on his taking Sir FRANCIS WRONGHEAD, when he wiflied to ailume COUNT BASSET
Our adventurer's benefit at Waterford, the fecond he ever had, and the nnl in point: of profit, made him mailer of about twenty five pounds, which he tcck home to his
lodging,
(46 T
lodging, and depofitedin different places' by turns, without enjoying the happinefs of thinking it fafe in any — thus poor EDWIN found that the acquifition of wealth brings its concomitant folicitudes ; however he fixed upon his bed at laft as the more fecure fi- tuation, but like moft young men his trou- bles were but tranfient ; the ileep of the night deftroyed the cares of the day; the poppy had more effedt than the pence and the money was left in the fheets.
While at rehearfal his recollection re- proved his remiffnefs j he ran home to his lodgings like a madman, and the pleafure of recovering a property which he had never loft, gave his feelings the moft exquifite edge imaginable---
After this ferious affright he <f locked up all his treafure" in a trunk-— and applied to it whenever his wants urged him, and thofe wants were not unfrequent. The fum of twenty-five pounds was nearly confumed in three weeks, and on his examining the por- table bank prior to his quitting the town, the
impro-
'( 47 )
improvident actor found that his purfe had given up the ghoft, excepting the inconfide- nible fum of fixteen fhillings.
Oh prudence, how amiable is thy afpect! whoever pays his devoir at thy fhrine, retires from the altar, fatisfied in his own opini- on, and more eftimable in the vifion of focie- ty— Thy influence, like the vifitation of the angels to Abraham, makes our dwel- lings hallowed, and our characters approach to perfection— Thou fitted enthroned amid a bufy world, cloathed in pureft veftments, and alluring; its variegated tenants to crowd around thee and be happy — Without thy fmiles, we degenerate into brutes — with- out being obedient to thy fuggeftions, we be- come the inmates of torment.
The facetious EDWIN was notproverbial for courting prudence when fome years younger —He expended the liberal gratuity of the good people of Waterford, in the haunts of folly and extravagance ; and when his fi- nances were reduced to a truly unenviable Hate, he fat himfelf down upon the corner 4 of
( 48 )
t)f his bed, reding his chin upon the palm of Jhib i ight hand ; like Caius Marcius on a vef- tige of Carthage, and after ejaculating a figh, which was drawn from the inmofb chamber of his heart, mod pathetically re- viewed his coniumptive purfe-— turned both the pockets of hi., black gallig^fkins infide out, and then exclaimed in the loudeft ac- cents of woe,
Faicwel to the ne^hinp fleed, and aii the c-rcuin-*
fta^itia'i por. ..cy,
?.Iypu:-f_ is leant — my rcpulacbn's gone- "
1 Cnoughtlefs ECV.TV,
•was obliged in cor.feqnence to walk to Dub- lin j and a lorv but little 'mo- ney is nc r thc mcft de- firable accidents of our being— -
I do not 1: vyv any circumflance which fo fully tends tojuilify the doctrine of predefli- nat-.on', as the behaviour of thole young per- fo.is who have an ardent attachment to the •---I think, tho' v.'i'.li fume hefiration, that the impelling prejudices aJ: more pow- erfully
( 49 )
crfully upon the mind than even the fervour of outrageous love — in the firft inftance, the j udgment is fo entirely hoodwinked, that it becomes blind to every dreary profpect which mifery can pourtray, and recedes from the unerring arguments of conviction with as much feeming difgufl as if the intention was to injure and not befriend the object of admonition— whereas in the inftances of love, the fenfes are never fo wholly abforbed, by paflion or perverted by lunacy, but they can difcover whether DEL i A or DAMON is crooked or flraight— fhort or tall— young or old — but in whatever relates to the profeflion of a dramatic life, the propriety of the meafure appears but a fecondary confideration — the refolution is upheld as the doctrine of fate, and they leap into the trenches of defolation. as felicitoufly, as if being hooted while exifting and pitied when no more, were among the choiceft rewards of individual obftinacy.
The late Mr. JACOB HEMET, who has often related to me the calamities of his being, never appeared fo much agitated by
VOL. I. E the
( 5' )
the pangs of difappointment as wheii reciting the unaccommodating manner in which he was rejected by Mr. RICH, then pa- tentee of Covent Garden Theatre, when he produced a letter of recommendation from COLLEY GIBBER, and made an uncon- ditional offer of his fervices to play the firft line of tragedy ; tho* my old friend had ex- perienced as many ferious unkindnefles from fortune as mod men, yet none apparently had clung with fo much adhefion to his me- jnory, or made fo vail an inroad upon his peace or his ambition.
In the courfe of the fummer, EDWIN recei- ved a card of invitation from DOCTOR LAN- DER, an apothecary of the town, to pafs the evening athis houle j and the occurrence not happeningon a play-night, he readily accept- ed the fummons. (I ftiould obferve that in mo-ft country towns the fpirit of friendfhip operates as a Succcdancum for the honors of a diploma, and all apothecaries act as phyfi- cians without a due licence from the college, and this gentleman was, as ufual, dignified with the appellation of DOCTOR) The room that EDWIN was fhevvn into was ftrewed
with
C 5* )'
•Vith camomile flowers, for the purpofe of drying, excepting a fpa'ce round the table and a fmall pafiage of communication be- tween that and the door.
The company confuted of the doctor and his friend, GEORGY the Dutchman and ED- WIN, who to be upon a level with the reft in point of drinking, was obliged, as coming lafr, to fwallow three bumpers, an irreme- diable cuftom prevalent of old among the convivial fons of lerne.
The DOCTOR and EDWIN gave their fongs by turns; the Doctor's friend played on the flute, and the fiddler exercifed his profeffio- nal abl:lty j — for two hours the wine went round in rapid movements, and the four af- ibciates bumpered it away as if all the advan- tages of fortune depended upon who fhould drink moft— but as it is decreed that fublu- nary felicity fhall not be durable, we muft notbefuprizedthat thefeftivityofthe evening v/as marred by the intervention of difcord; but the difcord moil improperly originated with the" mufician, who to the amazement
E 2 Of
< 5* )
of the company on a fudden refufed to touch the firings of his inftrument, which fb far difgufled EDWIN, that forgetting the cere- monious obligations of a gentleman, he cal- led GEORGY a rafcal, and was immediately knocked down by the enraged harmoniit for the coarfenefs of the appellation.
EDWIN in getting up laid hold of the ta- ble for affitlance, which was plentifully co- vered with bottles and glafles, and brought them all on the floor j a combat then was in agitation, and the parties dripped for battle, but the camomile flower5 and the fur- niture of the room fuffered more damage than eicher of the Heroes.
The doctor's father, a very aged man, who %vas totally ignorant of the methods of actors and fiddlers, and perhaps ferioufly alarmed for the lafety of kis fon's property, ran up itairs in the midft of the uproar, crying our, * c Oh my god ! oh my god, fend for a Conftable, fend for a Conftable," and in his rage, fright and confirmation, fnatched ths wig off EDWIN'S head, and threw it into the
ftreet;
( S3 )
ftreet j an over charged-kennel inftantly -carried it out of fight, and poor EDWIN was led home in a ludicrous ftate, non comics mentis^ with a white handkerchief bound round his head, muttering death and de~ flruftion to the author of this complicated difgrace.
Whether it was from the fear of a renewal of hoftilities, or to juftify the old faying, <f that people are better friends after a battle than before," I know not, but the Dutchman's rancour appeared to have fub- fided, and the two affailants lived upon a more friendly footing than before.
At this period EDWIN was paying his addreiTes to, or rather vifiting, a Mifs HAWK, an attractive Actrefs in the Wa- terford Company ; an invitation to dinner from the Lady to the Gentleman, had a wonderful effect on tlie latter, and matters went on. as well as matters of that fort could —but whenever the fair appendage of Tha- lia and Melpomene touched upon the theme of matrimony, EDWIN defcanted upon the E 3 comforts
comforts of a good dinner— the former had an amorous difpofition, the latter a good appetite— EDWIN'S vifits were generally finiihed before candle-light, and thcfs vifits were on the intervening days of asfling, for it fhould have been noticed, that the com- pany performed but three times 4 week ; after paying his adoration to the dramatic magnet of his wifnes, he conftantly finiihed the day with the male members of the ftage — -Mils HAWK, the more to allure EpwiN to the embraces of Hymen, difplayed all the portable properties about her chamber with a fort of negligent oftentation, and the fol- lowing is a partial ftatement of her warc^ robe.
A Library or bundle of plays.
A Tin Coronet.
A black velvet vifor, almoft brown with,
fervice.
Three worfted feathers. A foil Ring fet to imitate diamonds. A Necklace and Earrings, ditto. A Point Apron .
An
( 55 >
An old Hoop tliat had been worn by Mrs. GIBBER.
A Braid for young Characters.
A pair of red velvet Shoes for Queens.
A Chip Hat for Shepherdeffes.
A Cambrick Handkerchief for Tragedies, marked S, H.
A needle book made of brocaded Silk ed- ged with Silver.
A large Briftol ftone buckle for a Ceftus.
Pearl powder.
A portrait of FANNY HILL burnt at the
A lump of Rofe Pink. [bottom.
Three falfe teeth and a Stomacher.
Some bear's greafe in a wafer box.
A quantity of black pins.
Court plaifter for patches.
Some lightning and rain in a brown paper
bag. . Two falfe rumps.
A miniature picTure of a gentleman in a red coat.
And a broken french Fan illuminated with the ftory of Cleopatra failing down the Cydnos to greet Mark Anthony.
£ As.
As this affectionate pair were regaling after the repaft one afternoon, the difcourie took a turn upon the wonderful effefts of Harmony on the animal creation — Mifs HAWK brought forward the well known anecdote of Cerberus being fubdued in Hell by the Lyre of Orpheus — the railing the Theban wall, and the no lefs marvellous matter of charming the tenants of the upper gallery in a Theatre by the exhilarating tune of the Road beef of old England, or God fave the King, with a chorus ; to ilrengthen thefe inftances, EDWIN produced the following lines.
An IMPROMPTU. On tbe FORCE of M E L o D y.
When Amphion was plung'd in defpair In the waves, without learning to fwim, He fung a difconfolate air, And a Dolphin came wriggling to him. But Phoebus who envied his fong, Blafc'dthe ficrceft of beams on the Sea ; Till the fifties beginning tofweat, Cried, « Curfc it, how hot we fliall be!"
The 4.
( 57 )
The Lady inftantly replied, " that's a good one." This poetical effufion was fo well received by the laughing damfel, that EDWIN ventured to produce a Sonnet, which he had compofed during the infancy of hi? pafiion.
S 0 N N E ?. * ¥0 Mijs SALLY HAWK, upon her cruelties-,
Written by J o H N E D w i >r, Comedian, fit the age cfjevenfee??, in imitation of SHENSTONE.
Ah go ye little lambs, and nibble flowers, Or quench your thirft at yonder purling ftream ; For Cupid, crutl Cupid, chills my powers, And my fond wifhes cheat me like a dream.
Ye
* Had this Sonnet, which is a palpable imitation of SHENSTONE'S beft manner, been produced at the prefent period, there can be no doubt but it would have proved an aggrandifement of the late Mr. EDWIN'S fame, by ftevr. ingmankind thatindependent of hisgreatmerits as an Aclor, he could write occasionally with as mnch pathos, delicacy and feeling, as Mrs. SMITH, Mrs. YEARSLY, Mr. MERRY» Mrs. BARBAUI.D, Mifs MORE, Mi s. COWLEY, Mr-CooTER,
Mrs,
( 53 )
Ye pretty birds that v/arble on the fpray, •
The Goldfinch, Lark, the Linnci, and the Dove, Tho' my heart aches, yet you may all be t;ay,
For ycu have never known the pangs of love, t Or if you have,, no fad, no favage vows,
Have kept your chirping miftrefics from ye, You aik no other houfcs than the boughs,
And bill and coo and fly from tree to tree, No fitting Shepherd felt fuch pungent pain,
Nevcj: before, nor never will agalu.
The lady was fo much delighted with the beautiful imagery of the for.net, that Ihe in- voluntarily repeated, " And bill and coo, " and fly from tree to tree." I fuppofe it is almoft unnecefiary to inform the reader that EDWIN viewed his nymph through a me- dium of prodigious refpecV— he had always thought her as handfome as an angel, and J^egan now to imagine her as chafte as Dian — to fpeak in the language of an aftor, Ihe had wonderful merit in her #»*, could
!Mrs. ROBINSON, Mr. HAYLEY, or even Mr. UPTON- Jiimfelf!!! Upon the ftrength of this performance, lad-' vifed Mr. EDV/IN to become a member of the Blue Stocking Club, but the player's modefty fupcrceded hii ambition^ aadlie relin^ulflied the idea
( 59 )
iuftie through three characters in the fame night— -was anxious to make herfelf ufeful to. the manager.— Seven or eight lengths* were nothing to her capacity — ihe could go 'on for any -part at a day's notice—valued her- felf on being a quick ' ftudy—nzvzr feigned illiiefs or mad.? && ft age ft and — could double and drefi with any lady in the three king- doms, and actually performed on one night, JMOIXDA and CAPTAIN DRIVER in QROO-- NOKO j and on another, LADY TOWNLY and JOHN MOODY in the PROVOKED HusT
Hefperus beginning to twinkle through the canopy of the heavens, EDWIN turned his thoughts upon departing in peace, firft requefling the loan of a play-book from Mils HAWK'S library to amufe him in re- tirement-— the lady politely offered him sis jou like it, and Love finds the way, but ED-,- WIN preferred Every man in his humour) and ff ure for Meqfure.
A length is forty-t
The
( 60 )
The feafon allotted for their performance at Waterford being now expired, every actor's hope was fixed on his winter's en- gagement, and the company were convened by the manager to take a cheerful glais on their reparation : It was then that EDWIN had the misfortune to difeover from a Frenchman, a dancer, who went by the name of SHUTER, that after he had finilhed his chafte vifits to the agreeable Mils HAWK, his companion who procured the means of fubfiflence by his dexterity on " The light fantaflic toe," ufed to fucceed him as a lover, and reap the fruits of a fiame, the unknowing comedian had only folly enough to raife !
A few days previous to ED WIN'S quitting WATERFORD, a misfortune occured ; it was fimply this — A poor fellow of the name of PATRICK O'KEAGHEHAN, in the honed endeavour to find his way home from a jhebeen houfe after dark, made a fmall miftake, took the helm of a Norway brig in the harbour for his own houfe, and in labouring to enter, (tumbled over an
eighteen .
( 6i )
cighteen-inch cable, fell plump into the river, and was drowned.— The body was taken up the next day, and agreeably to the cuftoms of Ireland was to be waked the en- fuing night — to this ceremony EDWIN as a ftranger was invited, and the more efpeci- ally as he had often given the deceafed a glals full of beverage, vulgarly called WHISKEY. The Comedian went and found the mourners aflembled in a cellar under an ufquebaugh fliop on the quay— after a formal intro- duction to the relative of the deceafed, he took his feat among the reft of the vifitors, and had his allotment of a pipe of tobacco fome grilled cake, fnuff, and half a pint of fpirits— the body was depoGted in a heavy elm coffin, which was placed upon- two ftools in the middle of the apartment with the lid half removed. — Over this hung the gentle relict of the departed, bathing the cold forehead of her dead lord with tears.--- After many ghoftly admonitions from PETER BALLYBOUGH, the pariflj prieft, the wretched lady permitted herfelf to be dragged from the corpfe— took a fup of the fyt down— -hid her cour.tenance.in
her
( 61 )
Tier IiancJs — and profufely wept like another Alcyone /—The feat of lamentation however
was not long unoccupied J ire G y
PONSONBY, who was coufm-german to O' KEAGHEHAN'S fofter-mother, uprofe from the corner of the room — flew to the wooden tafe of benumbed mortality, and vented her grief in accents that were probably heard at a league's diftancc.— When fhe had re- peatedly ejaculated with great earneftnefs, wringing her hands, " Arrah now PADDY *e why did you die ?" the whole company united in a general pullulleloo, the noife of which almoft breaking the drum of poor EDWIN'S ears, he was in the act of flopping them with his thumbs, which being per- ceived by his immediate neighbour, BRIAN- O'Row, who dealt in fruit and timber ; at Dungarvan, he griped the left wrift of the tremulous comedian, and vociferated, " why <f bl— -d-a-nouns man what are you about ?" This falutation brought EDWIN to his fenfes, and he zealously joined in the pious orgies: with all the devotion of a mad bacchanal.—
i Whent
When" this ceremony was concluded, SHELAH MULLOWNEY was called upon for
a chaunt after three loud herns, and two
coarfe apologies, the fair digger of turf fung, or rather bellowed as follows—- As my true love and I went truffing togedder, We called at the fign of the grifken and medder : Och there we danced launftram poney togedder, And often -cried whack for the other brown medder; Sing furillulloo, turiddleliddlelull, burillulloo, turiddle- ItddleluH, furicldle, turiddle, furiddlc, and now boys go merrily WHACK !
When the lovely offspring of beauty came to the -concluding monofy liable Whack, all the affembly clapped their hands loudly in unifon, as if by inftinct,and repeated the word with a fonorous emphafis— •- every thing went on as well as decency could expect, until four in the morning, when an inconfiderable affray took place— FATHER. BALLYBOUGH, who had been drowning his grief in vaft potations of the Lethean juice, got up with much difficulty and reeled in a zig-zag direc- tion towards his clay- cold friend, whom he feized by the hand, and crofling his breaft •thus ejaculated, fc bad luck to you, Paddy
now,
( 64 )
how, why was you after going to that &mefaebeen houfe without firft afking my lave [my jewel ? get out of that with your laughing, you comical baftard," faid he tapping the forehead of the deceafed, " to be fure you don't remember when I cotcbed you tickling KATTY MACFOOSTER'S under petticoat in the chapel itfelf you Spalpeen , laft JLammas ; but I forgive you with]all the veins in my heart fo I do — here you taafof the world, take this and put it under your wig 5" continued the difciple of Chrift, flicking a fhort pipe between the teeth of the corpfc, " it will kape you comfortable in the winter months my honey." At this inftant an old crony of PADDY'S darted up, and thun- dering out a tremendous oath, " by this book and I fwear it," uttered he, kifling the fkirt of his coat, " but he fhall have fome fuftion as well as all tobacco d'ye fee ;" and in the en- deavour to fix a bottle of fpirits at his right «ar, in which attempt he wasviolently oppofed by the Prieft, a fcuffle enfued, which brought the contending parties, dead body and all to the ground- --the head of the coffin pitched
unluckily
unluckily upon the temple of THADY FOG ARTY, who lay ftretched upon the floor in a found fleep, and had not his head been as thick and as impenetrable as the great wall of Tartary, or the Cones of Cherburgh, the abrupt vifitation muft have fhivered his fkull to atoms — however the Fates interfered, and THADY gave an unerring teftimony of his being in the land of the living, by enter- taining his friends for about ten minutes with a hideous roar, not entirely diffimilar to the tones of a dying hog in the victualling office-— the lifelefs trunk was rolled by the concufllon fome yards on the floor, and flopped by EDWIN'S feet, who was fo much alarmed at the accident, that to ufe an Irifh phrafe, he gathered tip bis duds—- made but three ftrides from the cellar to the ftreet, and did not even think himfelf fecure when he got neftled, and trembling between the dowlafs fheets at his own dormitary.
The preceding information relative to Mifs HAWK, efcaped the lips of SHUTER the Dancer, when they were both labouring un* der the preflure of inebriety — but notwith-
VOL. I. F ftanding
f 66 )
(landing that, the humble reprefentative of fops and monarchs regiftered the bafe tale in the volume of his brain, and the next morning paid the flippant A&refs a vifit of refentment, burft the chains of affection afunder in her prefence, pronounced the execrations of gallantry, and took a final leave in the following folemn declaration.
«* Oh Madam, oh Miss HAWK, I fhould ftillbe happy »
If the whole Camp, pioneers and all
Had tafted your fwcetbody, fo I had nothing known.'*
He then told her of the voluptuous dan- cer's vain boafting ; and the indignant lady attempted to explain ; but EDWIN, like the firft oracle of the law, afTumed a contemptu- ous brow — leagued with ferocity — hulhedthe Lady into filence and bid her fix her talons on any other dramatic pigeon, for he was re- folved that Miss HAWK fhould not make a prey of his affection. " Your books, madam, faid he, like yourfelf, have deceived me; they are not Every Man in his Humour, and Meafure for Meajure, but Love's Labour Left and the Dsvil fo Pay" He then left the. 5 pollu-
polluted Daphne in tears with the fucceed- ing quotation, which he delivered mod tra- gically as he receded ftep by ftep from the prefence of the theatric enchantrefs :
Intolerable deceit ! your fex
Was never in the right ; you're always falfe,
Or filly ; even your drefies are not more
Fantaftick than your appetites ; you think
Of nothing twice: Opinions you have none.
To-day you're nice, to-morrow not fo free,
Now fmile, then frown ; now forrowful , then glad ;
Now pleas'd, now not ; and all you know not why :
Virtue you afFed, inconftancy's your practice ;
And when your loofe defires once get dominion,
No hungry Churl feeds coarfer at a feaft j
Every rank fool goes down." — -
In the courfe of the fummer EDWIN re- ceived an invitation to the Edinburgh Thea- tre, and the death of Mr. STAMPER * the low
* It is worthy of remark that the prefent juftly celebra- ted Mr. PARSONS of Drury Lam: Theatre was ieledkd to fucceed Mr. STAMPER in confequence of EDWIN 'srefufal ; by this circumftance we learn that thoft great men in their profeffional capacity were cotemporary in fame during the progrefs of juvenility.
F 2 Come-
( 68 )
Comedian, operated as an incitement in the Manager to folicit the afliftance of Mr. ED- WIN—Affairs were nearly brought to an iffue, and an engagement between them determi- ned, but the want of a fufficient fum of mo- ney toaccomplifh fo long a journey, forced f.D WIN once more to fight under the ban- ner of MOSSOP, and he left Waterford, Octo- ber the i fth, 1766, in company with Mr. REMINGTCN the Comedian, to walk enjem- Ik to Dublin.
Cafh being very low with the improvident ramblers, and the ridiculous trouble of a wardrobe out of the queflion, (for EDWIN'S whole flock remained in a fmall trunk with his landlord for ever as a needful depo- fit for non-payment of arrears,) thefe co- mic pedeftrians, each armed with a Jplinter of Jhilelahy and a few fhillings in their pock- ets, crofled the river SUIRE on their rout to Dublin, when the day was in the wane, and the yellow-haired God haftily defcending be- hind the weflern hills to reft his radiant head upon the bofom of the humid Thetis,
They
They had not proceeded more than three miles, when they were faluted on the fhould- ers by SHUTER the dancer, who hearing of their departure, had with the greateft rapidi- ty procured a piper, and overtook the actors at a little public caravanfera, but known in Ireland by the tide of a *Sheebeen houfe — The door of this low temple of good fellow- fhip {landing invitingly open, they effected their entrance incontinently, and brandy be- ing the moft potent liquor to be procured, a bottle was inftantly ordered, which, with the iweet notes of the piper, who was an excel- lent performer, and a dance between the three comrades, occafioned as much tempo- rary happinefs as can be experienced by any triumvirate in fuch circumftances. The brandy being out, the dancers fomewhat fa- tigued, and that fable intruder, night, giving them unqueltionable proof of her approaches,
*' A Shebeen houfe is a mean cabin or hut, many of which are to be feen at convenient diltances on the pub- lic roads cf Ireland — the inhabitants deal in bad fpirits, to- bacco and aie, which they contrive to vend without pay-
' ' i.
they
( 70 )
they thought it not altogether imprudent to feparate in purfuit of their feveral avocations. The dancer and piper returned to Water- ford, and the high-mettled ac~lors to Dub-. lin; but I fhould have remarked that before they parted they all kified the piper.*
From this humble fcene of feflivity they travelled half a league farther, and that corn- pleated their firft day's journey — at this point of their peregrination, on the left fide of the road, they difcovered a milerable hut, one fide of which was formed by the embank- ment of a ditch -, the walls were compofed of mud and draw, and its roof partially cover- ed with thatch, on which vegetation feemed to triumph in a variety of productions : they certainly would have miftaken this building for a pig -ftye, if a pipe ftuck in the edge of the roof, and a fmall board affixed in the front, on which was fcrawled, *
* Rifling is a common mode of flotation among the peafantry of Ireland, whofe innocent, yet manly minds, are untinged with an idea that the joyful purpofes of natnre can be fubverted by the hell-born dictates cf abomination.
« DRY LODGING for MAN and HORSE, by DARBY LOGAN" had not informed them that it was the habitation of human beings : they hurried into this calamitous hut, and found a bed without fheets, a piece of hung- beef in the chimney, that had been appa- rently nine times dried— Ibme potatoes in an iron pot, and a tobacco pipe, which proba- bly had been common to die whole parilh, feven inches in length, and as foul as the heart of that holy inquifitor who gave Gali- leo to death : but even the coarfe fare of this rural Inn, with the kindly affiftance of youth and good fpirits, produced as much hilarity in thofe wandering comedians as a dinner dreft by CAMPBELL at the SHAKES- PEARE in his beft manner would in the minds of individuals not fo legally allied to mirth and good humour.
The Hoft of the Inn was the prototype of BONNIFACE in the STRATAGEM, and his vo- ciferous information that you might have any thing elfe but the precife article after which you have enquired, was oddly verified by their not being able to procure viands of
any
( 7* )
any defcription, excepting boiled potatoes and fome hung beef as hard as the knots of an oak table j but even hard beef and pota- toes are not to be rejected when men are -hungry, and neceffity gives the word of command. EDWIN and REMINGTON were preparing for bed, when GEORGY the fiddler and another child of Phoebus made their ap- pearance in the offing j after mutual congra- tulations they agreed to join company, and purfue their journey the next day together, purfuant to this refolution,
When like a lobfter boil'd, the morn From hideous black to red did turn.
They fet off in defpite of a gentle fhower of rain, and for mere diverfion : when they arrk ved at a heath, they all four danced the witches reel in MACBETH to the melody of their own voices, and the entertainment of a few ruftics, aflifted by a blind harper, who tho' well flailed in the fweet airs of CAROL AN*, *knew as much about VESTRIS, and the gra-
* The harp or lyre of the ancients, fo much celebrated by the Greek poets, was compofed of an hollow fhune, ov«-r
whicii
( 73 )
ces,as a haberdafher does of Hebrew—Fowl?? feeing his companions and the clowns prepa- ring for their departure, demanded their at- tention while he preached them a fermon* and on his promifing to be as concife as pof- fible, they readily complied, and he began as follows
In the fifth chapter of Job, verfe the feventh, you will find thefe words.
vhich feveral firings were thrown, probably in fome fuch manner as we fee them on a harp and dulcimer. They did not much refemble the viol, as the neck of that inftru- ment gives it peculiar advantages, of which the ancients feem to have been wholly ignorant — the mtilician was ac- cuftomed to ftand with a fhort bow in his right hand and a couple of fmall thimbles upon the fingers of his left : with thefe he held one end of the firing, from which an scute fyund was to be drawn, and then ftruck it imirediattly upon the bow — In the other parts he fwept over evtry firing alternately, and allowed each of them to have its full found. This practice became unnecefiTary afterward-, when the Inflrument was improved by the addition of new firings, te which the founds correfpcndcd. Horace tells us, that, in his time, the lyre had feven firings, and that it was then much more mufical than it had been ori
finally
«' Man
( 74 )
•* Man is born unto trouble as the fparks fly upward"
I fhall divide this difcourfe (faid EDWIN) and confider it under the three following beads.
j Man's ingrefs into the World,
3. A Man's progrefs through the World,
3 His egref* out of the World.
And i A Man's Ingrefs into the World, Is naked and
bare, i His progrefs through the World, is trouble sand
care. 3 And laftly, his egrefs out of the World, i*
nobody knows where.
To Conclude.
If we do well here, we {hall do well there,
1 can tell you no more, if I preach a whole year.
The Song of" Four and twenty fiddlers all en a row," by EDWIN, and a mock Hornpipe byRcMiNGTON, whodrew the flap of his fhirt out of his breeches before to anfwer the idea of trowfers, while the ftrolling muficians fawing out the tune with all their art finifhed the performance— this combination of drol- eries occafioned much genuine laughter,
and
( 75 )
and the actors and their audience parted infinitely pleafed with each other.
After thefe ridiculous vagaries, a fmart walk of about fifteen miles brouht them to a village where they breakfafted and dried their habiliments- — before their repaft was finifhed, a poor filly fellow called BILLY BAKER, who had been in the Waterford company, made his entre-y this lad, they found afterwards, had feen the party on their march from a hill at fome diilance, and en- quired them out from flage to flage— An inclination for the honours of the drama, without the leaft pretenfion to ability, was. the caufe of BILLY BAKER'S bankruptcy in fame and circumftances : this glaring in- fufficiency induced fome comical rogues in Dublin, to perfuade BILLY to join Mr. RYDER'S company at Waterford, at the fame time intimating that he was in want of a finger, and a man of his particular merits—- The weak lad, who was profeflionally a Baker, took their advice literally— -left hU friends— went to Waterford, and ccnndently
( 76 )
applied to Mr. RYDER for an engagement* who feeing him a poor deluded being, and pennylefs, received him into his com- pany/rom motives of companion, to aflift in the menial offices of the ftage, fuch as car- rying meffages— hallowing and fhouting behind the fcenes— reprefenting dumb lords — ftatefmen, confpirators and peafants— joining in the chorus of" one and all" " iv Jo"—" we will" — " Bravo" &c. fupport- ing the fide wings, and bowing to every ba- jhaw of an Aflor, who had the merit to perform a King or a Conqueror, and re- ceive a more confiderable falary than him- felf— The audience obferving his folly, and rinding he had been a Baker, and his name Bitty, gave him the familiar title of BILLY BAKER, which was continually vociferized by fome of them, whenever he made his appearance on the ftage : " Well done, BIL- LY"--" BRAVO, BILLY BAKER"—" that's right, BILLY"— -were the conftantfalutations, and BILLY, though the word comedian in the company, attracted as much notice, and occafioned as much merriment as the belt.
EDWIN
( 77 )
EDWIN afked the Baker on his arrival if he had any money to bear his expences to Dublin, but Billy replied
" Alas I have not a ducat in the World,'* " Yet am I in love, and pleas'd with ruin.''
Why then, replied one of the wags, cc Coin <c your nole," for be it obferved that BILLY had an immeafurable probofcis, with a large red pirnple on the tip, and EDWIN remarked that it was the firft time he ever could per- ceive humour in the baker's countenance—- The actors confulted on a method to bring him to his friends, and after a variety of refolutions, it was at laft agreed to take him into their fervice during their journey j and BILLY BAKER was accordingly fworn in as principal Valet de Chambre to thofe erratic claimants of the fock and bufkin.
The two fiddlers parted with the actors after breakfalt, each taking a different path, and the journey to Dublin (excepting the pain of fore feet, occafioned by unufual exertions) was rendered very pleafant by the
attentions
( 73 )
attentions and fervices of BILLY— their own
obfervations— freaks of fancy and the
peculiar -eccentricities of the Irifli peafantry, who abound in more oddity, whim, and good-nature, than any other fet of people on the habitable globe.
EDWIJT was accuflomed to fpeak thus appro- priate of Ireland—The graces of hofpitality •were never more beautifully preferved than in our fitter kingdom ; there Urbanity fits upon every threfhold to beckon the way-worn tra- veller to participate the comforts of domeftic peace, while Charity, like a modeft inmate of the manfion, labours with gentle ofnci- oufnefs, to reduce the miferies of their com- mon gueft— it cannot be fufficiently la- mented, when fuch kindneflfefs are admini- ilred to an object unworthy the regards of virtue— our approximate iflanders are not predamned by the agonies of facial fuf- picion— there local integrity fubdues the harbinger of guilt, and they exift hood winked to the vices of more artful nations— - they receive the blandifhments of deception as the arguments of truth, and become feli-
citou?
< 79 )
citous from a privation of knowledge—in the poignant and pleafant qualities of wit, they arc unrivalled, though peculiarly delicate, in the application of the point— poflefling fen- fations which cannot brook an infult, they are cautious of entering into a ftate of per- fonal defence, for an error which the head may engender unauthorized by the emotions of the heart-- -they are dignified in the archives of Papbos as the felected minifters of VzNus---being intrepid and unfophiftica- ted, their action is firm, and their diction energetic— when a polifhed Irifhman iffues a vow to the daughters of beauty, it is the rhetoric of a hero foftened and adorned 'by the folicitudes and imagery of love — in fhort, the kingdom feems in the aggregate as the hft and mod favoured work of hea- ven, who affixed it on the weftern extreme of the univerfe to elude the complicated forrows of thofe empires which rancoroufly elbow each other on the vaft fcale of crea- tion, and to be illumined with the final beam of day, when the fun finks for ever, and temporal glory is no more !
EJDWIM
EDWIN and his friend taking fome refrefh- ment at the door of a public- houfe, obferv- ed at a diftance, a large handfome manfion -—as objects of greatnefs always beget curiofity, they immediately enquired whq was the poflefTor ? — The landlord informed them his name was Sir FELIX O'BoRo, and faid at the fame time, " you muft know by " the Immaculate that he is a comical " COLMAN, for when I firft came to refide " here from fweet Ballinamona about five " years ago, he conftantly came to my houfe " in the evening to take a fup of the " righteous, as he called it, which you " muft know my honey, was Brandy and •' Water— Says he to me one day, you " VOK.EEN, you BLARNEY GALLAGHER, " where are you after buying your Brandy ?" " ---At PHELAM O'SHAUGHNESSY'S, in <f Thomas -flreet, faid I, your honour."— - " By the powers of MARY KELLY, faid he, tl you'll get it better at THADY GEOGHE- " CHAN'S, and fo d'ye fee to oblige fo good " a cuftomer, I fent to the Spalpeen he re- " commended, for a large quantity, when, whac the devil do' you think he was
after
( Si )
' after doing ?" I don't know upon my foul, re- plied EDWIN. "Why then I'll tell you by the holy Peter, arrah mon jowl, bad luck to him I fay, when the brandy arrived, may my mother's fon be Spiflicated if he did not take to rum, and fo my dear fellows the Coniac remained as quiet in my cellar, agra, as the fpirit of a faint in the third heaven!---
" Pray friend, faid EDWIN, thequeftion being fomewhat apropos, permit me to afk it,"— " as many queftions as you like, rejoin- ed the hoft, for I dare fay by the twift of your mufcles that it is a good thing." "Why then, continued EDWIN, be fo condefcend- ing, fo civil and familiar, as to tell me what this means.
A difappointed lobfter and an oyfter in love —
FOR
ELIZABETH CANNING and a willow bonnet are to be exprefied by the name of a liquor much in ufe in this country.
" By the piper of Bleffingtown " faid the Landlord, but you are a rum fellow." Why then, " retorted EDWIN, " if dial's the cafe,
VOL i. G I'll
take to brandy, fo here's my fervice to your friend at the large houfe on the hill." The conviviality of this party was fomewhat ftrengthened by the afiiftance of a French- rhan, who at that inftant called for a jorum of ale, and fat down on a feat made of green fods at the door.
A Frenchman in the bofom of Ireland ap- pears at beft but a fmgular being — there- fore the adors, as well as the hoft, made fomewhat free with what they thought the abfurdities of his character*. The converfa- tion taking a ferious turn, REMINGTON and the fhrugging fubjecl: tfLsuis quinze got in- to a dialogue, in a fmall degree tinftured with afperity; the theme was the French lan- guage, and they difputed with fome warmth upon the pronounciation and propriety of particular words — the Engliihman had ftu-
* It is to be lamented that the lower orders of fociety in Great Britain and Ireland feel an unwarrantable and cru- el propenfity to treat foreigners with difrefpecl, and this conduct muft appear to them the more extraordinary, as lhe very idea of being a ftranger on the continent ope- yatcs only to make the natives more civil aad attentive—
( 83 >
died the idiom with great attention, and was grammatically grounded in both Latin and French — -on the contrary the foreigner knew no more of his own language than what was indifcriminately and generally fpoken -, and found it as difficult to defend what he had advanced as a lawyer will probably on the day of judgment, fhould he prefurne to put in his claim for the benefits of falvation — The material bone of contention was a tech- nical term — after much altercation and many pofitive declarations on both fides, the Englifhman faid with much modefty (for REMINGTON certainly poffefled modefty, tho* he had trod the (lage for feven years) " well, Monfieur, I am perfectly convinced that I am right, but am alfo equally aflured it is impoflible to convince you againft the cur- rent of your inclination, for I perceive that your opinions are completely Hudibraftic.
" The man convinc'd againft his will, « Is of the fame opinion ftill."
But I will have my aflertions decided by
any man of letters in the village"-— Here the
G 2 Frencia-
( 84 )
Frenchman raifed the laugh againft himfelf by eagerly replying, " Vergood— mafoi— man of letters ! ha, ha, ha ! vat de poflman I fuppofe ?"--- " So i'ts a poftman you were after talking about," rejoined the hoft, " by my fait that puts me in mind of a ftory d'ye fee— -You mult know Gentlemen, but firft here's my hearty fervice to you, that I lived once about a mile on this fide of Cork, my jewel ; and Mr. SHUTER, that comical fon of a Canary— 1 mean the play-actor my dare, who kept Smock-alley in credit, (top- ped at my door one fummer afternoon as it
may be now d'ye fee to be fure I didn't
give him a keemeelafaulti(y and what d'ye think he wanted ? Why I'll tell you, pulla- looKatty, to ax me whereabouts the town of Bottle-ftopper was.— Is it Botttle-ftopper you want, faid myfelf, fo I fays to my wenches here, you JUGGY, KATHLEEN, NORAH, can you tell where the town of Bottle-ftoppffr itands ?" — " The de'el burn me," anfwered
bots the girls," " if ever I heard of it."
Upon which faid I to SHUTER, get out of
that, wid your joking man, are you after
coming here to bodder us ?"— " Not 1,
5 upon
upon my * Kiddy " faid SHUTER, " pozzo- rozativo, galluminevus, tufhmereen, ox- umbrolho, peloteero, pottovvoufki, fnaggs -f but my boy, as you don't underftand Greek I perceive, tell me what place is that great
town yonder ? " " That town," faid I,
" why bad manners to you, that's Cork to
be fure."— •" Why then you filly b h,
replied SHUTER, " is not Cork and Bottle- Jlopper the fame thing ?"
This landlord, who was a droll fifri, called NED SHUTER a wet actor, and con- fefled that he had no violent objection to the crater himfelf— -told his gudls that he fel- dom went to bed fober, and was never up long before he was tipfy— knew every ftage of intoxication, and almoft every name and mode of exprefling it according to the hu- mour of the fpeaker.
"Obferve me now faid he — a Fop of a fel- low would fay, a man in that fituation was
* The ufual affeveration of the late lamented EDWARD SKUTER.
G Hocus
( 86 )
Hocus, n&n J£ ipfe> elevated, eleflrijied, or von compos mentis — A penny barber would /ay, he was in thefuds, or terribly cut — and io honies a failor would talk about his being — Half fe as over — acrofs the liney out cf bis latitude — another would fay, he had bunged his eye, was knocked up — bow came you Jo— had got his little bat on — had been in the fun — — zv as in for it — much difguijed — Clipped the
King's englijh Bojky Fuddled — muddled
tfipfy — Dizzy Muzzy Sucky—» Rocky —
Groggy — Blind as Chloe — Mops and brooms— - But what fignifies my ringing the changes upon the phrafes of Bacchus to fuch milk- fops as you? continued the landlord, you are all too fober to be honed fellows — meet three Engliflimen and you may catch two *philofophers — fo here is wifhing you all
better
The .Englifh, by various writers on the continent,, as frequently as by the Trim, have been ftiled a nation «f pbi- itfoplvrs ; whether this was meant as a compliment, or otherwife, remains as yet to be determined — there is a glimmering of firearm in the remark, obvioufly reduc- tive of our fclf-Iove a", combined individuals, but yet not fufficijently palpable to be. 4ireftly applied to our difad-
vantage
better education — Thus he exhaufted the bottle by degrees till he got as drunk as
Silenus.
While our hoft lay fnoring by the fire- fide, REMINGTON told a ftory which he averred to have happened at Bally/hannon, in the county of Donegal — The Lord of the Manor of that diftrict, having an urgent oc-
vantage as a people— the term phiJofopher was firft adop- ±ed by the fage of Samos, but afluredly not meant to con- vey the fame oftentatious idea as it does at prefent — PY- THAGORAS was the firft of the SopJufts whofe modefty inclined him to reject the appellation of wife for that of a lover pfiwi/dom— \v ith us it rather feems to imply firmnels under the embarraffinents incidental to our being, than eagernefs to embrace the points of learning — in the prefent fingular ftate of fociety, a man need only be very ftupid and very filent to acquire the character — the meaning of the term certainly changes with the operations of accident — the iludy of modern philofophers is not, Tike that of the antients, confined to the obfcurities of the fchool. Des CARTES, LOCKE, MoNTESQuiEu,andMAU- PERTIUS, were as eminently noted for polifli of exterior as intelligence of mind, but when the vulgar of Britain are denominated philofophers by a foreign obferver, I cannot believe the obfenration is meant to be fubfervient to their honor, or fignificant of their magnanimity,
G 4
( 83 )
cafion for a fum of money, which had been due to him for fome time from one of his Tenants, who kept the fign of the Three Compafles in that town, difpatched his Stew- ard with particular orders to return the fame night, and bring the cafh with him at all events— The Steward arrived at Ballyjhan* won in the afternoon on the fair-day, and was not a little furprifcd to find that both fides of the highway, for a mile before he entered the town, were flanked by a prodigious number of men and women, who lay prof- trate in the lad ftage of drunkennefs— When he arrived at the auberge, he was confidera- bly chagrined to behold the hoft of the Com- pafles precifely in the fame date : but what could he do in fuch circumftances?his maf- ter was inexorable in his commands, and the completion of his wilhes was apparently im- poffible ; he told his tale to a number of per- fons who had aflembled in the Kitchen, among whom was a Horfe Doftor; who undertook to reftore the Landlord to ibbriety in five minutes, for a trifling gratuity ; the thing appeared to be impracticable, but as defperate men grafp at fhadows, the folici-
tous
tons domeftic complied with the terms— -the Hippocrates of quadrupeds inftantly called for a lighted candle, took off the flaxen wig from the cranium of the lufty hoft— applied the blaze of the taper to the top of his fkull, which was damped by the fpirit of the li- quor, having oozed through the pores— - it immediately caught fire, and having burnt b.uc for three minutes and a half, the Lord of the three Compaffes ftarted from his chair with all his faculties in perfection — flood as perpendicular as the Trajan column— -and executed incontinently the wifhes of the Steward to the amazement ot a gaping af- fembly.
The various epithets applied by the Land- lord to exprefs intoxication, induced RE- MINGTON to defcant thus—" It is curious, continued he, to obferve the different words and methods different characters have of denominating the fame vice or virtue — and a Turk, a Bramin, a Perfian, an Indian, or any inhabitant of any country \vhofe cuf- toms and drefs are widely different from our own, may poffefs in his fentiments all the
moral
moral dignity that fhould fublime the human heart, and yet excite by his manner and lan- guage the ridicule rather than the refpect of an European auditory.
Cuftom and fafhion reconcile all things* and there is a fafhion even in our fpeech as well as in our drapery, which changes ,al- moft annually— within a few years every thing has been immenjely great, immenfely little— BIDDY TIPPET from the Cloifters in Smith- field, could not drink tea at the White Conduit Houfe, with Matter PARCHMENT from Blow-bladder-Street, unlels it was an immefife fine day, yet probably it might rain fo immenje there can be no going no where without a Coach-— Then we were tormented with the high-founding epithet, f&gvzff/upOA all occafions---an elegant Houfe, elegant Gar- •>:i Air, elegant Water, elegant Fire, came rapidly from the contracted lips of every lifpmg fpinfter within the bills of mor- tality—anon every thing was the Barber, and if even a chimncy-fwecper ran againft a decent perfon, it was the Barber— the Bdi'hr then gave way to the Shaver, and we
were
( 9« J
were trimmed by the Shaver, from Picca- dily to Wapping— -then every thing was a bobby borfe ; whether a man was fond of Hunting, Drinking, Wenching, or Ga- ming, it was a bobby hwfe---to the hobby horfe fucceeded the Macaroni, and he nomi- nated every rational creature a Bore, ex- claimed, // was all that fort of thing— juft fo -~i'ery-~euaftly} and quite the rage.
Some perfons grofsly mifapply their words —as light as lead — as heavy as a feather 4 Others make fimiiies in telling a ilory totally irrelative and unappofite. One man was faying to another, <c as I was crofling a field I faw a Bull who run at me like -partition, I run away like Thunder, and as I was en- deavouring to jump over a ftyle, I tore my breeches as if Heaven and Earth -were coming together* — To how many ufes the word JACK is applied ! there is-—
A JACK to pull ofFyour boots.
A JACK to roaft meat.
A black varnifhed JACK to hold liquor.
A JACK
( 9* )
A JACK dancing on the key of a Harp-
fichord. Then we have a fifli called a JACK, and a
bead called a JACK. You'll find a JACK KETCH in London,
and a JACK DAW in the Country.
The Lion has his JACK-ALL in the
foreft, the bowler has his JACK upon
the Green. The Gamefter has his JACK upon the
cards.
And there is a SMOKE JACK. .A JACK twifted upon the Spritfail top
head.
A JACK a DANDY. 'JACK a STYLES. A JACK aLANTHORN. And a JACK a NAPES. In France a Briton is called JACK ROAST
BEEF. In England we call him JOHN BULL.
But apprehenfive that the defcriptive JACK will play the Will-o'th'-wifp with my faculties, and lead me into the moraffes of error, I Hiali drop the family of the JACKS
entirely,
( 93 )
entirely, which are as numerous and ref- pedtable in this kingdom, as the family of the STAFFS mentioned by ISAAC BICKER- STAFF, Efq— the family of the WRONG -r HEADS known in every country — theO'sof Ireland or the MACS of Caledonia.
But to return to the Hero of thefe me- moirs, I mud acquaint the reader that after REMINGTON had finifhed his farcaftic differ- tation, the comical triumvirate paid the amount of their bill and departed — when they had journeyed for three days and a half thro' flinty roads and bye-ways, up hill and down dale — thro' bog and thro' briar, they arrived in Dublin, very much fatigued, fhoelels, pitiable, joylefs and pennylefs.
BILLY BAKER was immediately difpatch- ed to raife the fupplies, or in other words to borrow money of the charitably inclined; but whether it arofe from the ill fuccefs of his negociation or his ingratitude I am not completely informed, but certain it is that his forlorn friends never faw him more, and EDWIN and REMINGTON walked to the Caf-
tle
( 94 )
tie bagnio on Temple Bar, with inteftines uncheered by the comforts of a fupper, to chatmt ungorged with dainties their evening orifons — reft their weary extremities, and wait for the vifitations of Aurora to try the brittle friendlhip of fome monied varkts who had the honor to (land enrolled in the cata- logue of their aflbciates
After a night of mental perturbation — fiiort (lumbers — heavy fighs — vociferous Harts and much kicking and growling in fpirit, the cock crew — the majcfty of the hill of Howth was arrayed in purple — and the golden trefies of Apollo perceptible over the Horizon of Dublin Bay — to be familiar, the morning came at laft, and REMINGTON fal- lied forth to make the ferious attempt, while EDWIN was left in pledge for the reckoning; and happy for both parties the cherubs of charity were complacent, and REMINGTON'S application not fruitlefs.
The fight otzguinea revived poor Eowm from depreflion — he threw the cloak of laffi- tude from his foul—his pertnefs became re- braced
( 95 )
braced — and he took in confequence a lodging on the Batchelors Walk in the fame houfe with JEFFRYS and his Wife, who had performed at Waterford in the Summer and belonged to the Theatre in Smock Alley, which remained under the conduct of Mr. MOSSOP —
That Theatre opened foon after arrival in the capital, and tho' the payments were irregular and fcanty, Difcretion made up the deficiency — three weeks often palTed onwithout a moiety of a week's demand, and then perhaps there was an office of payment on a Saturday night after the performance : on the arrival of that Actors, Painters, Carpenters, Taylors, Scene men, Fiddlers, Lamplighters, Painters, Door- keepers, Compofer's, Property-men, Copyifts, Prompter, Call-boy and Authors, allpreiled forward to the office, treading on each others heels and toes — wreftling, fnarling, joftling and digging with the elbows, like fo many candidates for the laurel when the deftinies- bifect the thread ofa courtly poet's exiftence. Thus in ftrong compacted bodies moved the
motley 4
C 9« )
motley famifhed congrefs towards die cheii which contained the finews of dramatic le- giflation — a hundred tongues wagged at once in the full diapafon of horror, and ferioufly demanded, as with one voice, if money was to be had ? ? ?
Mr. CHRISTIE, the treafurer, held a mofl tmpleafant office, and the titles beftowed on him by thofe who were unfortunate enough to be left out of the lift of payments, were not compofed of the pleafanteft fyllables of the language.
Ejaculations of clefpair and looks of melan- choly were heard and feen in alrnolt every vifoge — Aleclo and her inexorable affinitives feemed to rriarfhal the viciflitudes of the aw- ful moment. —
PERETTI the Italian Singer's mode of ad- drefilng the treafurer was rather whimlical: <r SIGMOR CHRISTIE, tella me Sir, is dere any monies for me r" — as the anfwerin nine infbnces out of ten, was conveyed in a fnug, negative;, he uiually followed up the demand thus : fc Cotta biefsa my foul — cotta dam— dis is pretty vel bad— ah me wiih me was
at
( 97 )
at Londres — Cotta blefla Covent-garden ift Londres — Cotta a bleffa a you, SIGNOR .BEARD-— voi avete un buono cuore. I fhould inform the reader that PZRETTI hadfungthe preceding winter at Covent Garden Thea- tre, and whoever has been in that feminary of the mufes, while under the direction of Mr. BEARD, Mr. COLMAN or Mr. HAR- RIS, muft have experienced the moft rigid punctuality in pecuniary matters, and a cer- tain politenefs of demeanour, which if even diflembled, never failed to endear both the obliger and the obliged.
EDWIN had the good fortune to be of much ufe in . the bufinefs of the Dublin Theatre, and confequently often had the fa- tisfaction to Deceive one half or a third of his falary ; a bleffing that was not generally extended to his compeers.
The laugh-creating fubject of thefe me* moirs, has frequently declared to me, that it was at this ftage of his being, when he firft began to feel the fprings of ambition moving In his mind — when the feeds of that honour- able refolution to be a great man were firft
VOL, i. H fown,
lown, feeds which have been fmce fructified with fo much advantage to the character of the dead mimic of Momus and the tempora- ry felicities of fociety — he adopted the ad- vantageous idea that all excellence is acqui- red by progreflion, and was refolved that no day Ihould be facrificed to oblivion before it had yielded fome additional ftrength to his experience — thus copying the fublime ex- ample of Apelles, and the Caracci, who to whet the impulfe of vaulting glory, and keep the guardians of genius from (lumber, had the following infcription blazoned in large letters in their fchools of defign —
tfulla dieijinc tinea,
By this method they made an imagination rich, which probably was not originally promifing, and like a fterile promontory fer- tilized by cultivation, were enabled by the aids of art to implant and call forth images of beauty into blofTom, which nature inten- ded ihould be foreign to the foil 1
The nionificattoiis occafioned by non-pay
( 99 )
ments frequently produced fome whlmfical events — MOSSOP'S lodging had a communi- cation with the Theatre, and TENDUCCI, who had received a freezing negative in re- gard to payment, vowed vengeance on the Manager — " Ventre bleu I vill go up flairs and put my fword in his belly," uttered the defpoiled animal in recitative : the Italian was an expert fencer, nor was MOSSOP defi- cient in the fcience of defence, but having more flrength and favagenefs than the vocal faftrato, when the latter entered the room, and fqueaking exclaimed " I become to fight you, Mr.Mossop," th e r.clor, with a cur of the nofe and a horrid grin on his vifage, replied in accents of thunder, tf you ultra- montane fcoundrel, I will teach you to rebel againft your commanding officer." The ?p- plication was inftantaneous -, MOSSOP'S foot indented the g!ut<eusofthe minftrel,afid poor TENDUCCI tumbled down ftairs, in quicker time than he afcended !
MOSSOP, tho'a man of good fenfe, was ve- ry proudand hafty in his manner, yet uncom- monly flow in his afling; and his paufes were of H2 an
( 100 )
an immoderate length, particularly that in ZANGA preceding the words" 'Twas I ; — " during which a perfon might walk out of the Theatre, call a coach and be back time enough to know — " 'Twas I did it." — The rehearfals were very irregular in his Theatre, and much confufion enfued from the arbitrary principle with which he gover- ned-— MOSSOP was grand and important even to a point of ridicule, on the fcore of lineage and education, and not unfrequently fero- cious in his demeanor*. A little fat Trum- peter in the lafl act of RICHARD the THIRD, giving his " tan tan tiddy ran," in the wrong place, Mossop ran furioufly off the ftage, and
* That Tile aflumption of importance which we fo fre- quently encounter on the pride of birth, is perhaps of all human weaknefles the moft difficult to be defined by the pen of philofophy— it mould be noted as the triumph of local ambition over general worth, but of this grand truth lam morally certain, that the ridiculous pride of lineage would never have been enforced with fo much indufiry. had not a galling fenfe of unworthinefs impelled the ani- mal to feize on thofe adventitious points of falfe eftimation which are permitted to exift in focialjife, independent of the nobler qualities of the mind.
directing
( '01 )
directing his tragical fift to the Trumpeter's- tun-belly, who was in the act of blowing his clarion, the found which it produced feemed to fignify that the mufician's laft breath had departed through his inftrument.
The Prompter to the company, a lame man that ufed fpcclacles, gave the Mana- ger the word one night in the middle of a paufe, which fo offended him, that he deli- berately walked off the ftage, took hold of the communicant's head, which was none of the fmalleft, and drove it three times againft the wall, in the very paroxyfm of fury— told him he would knock his falfe eye out, and an- nihilate his nothingnefs, and then returned calmly to his duty and finifried the fcene. This Prompter, whofe name was GEMEA*, Was a man of whom every veteran of the ilage has heard anecdotes fraught with hu- mour and fingularity — he was character ifed
• This whimfical event has been recited with much s.ddrefs and effeft by Mr. CoLLiNs_in his aiaufing olio cal- led the EVENING BRUSH.
H as
( 102 )
ts an Athieft*, tho' I believe the application was unfounded in veracity--- he had been an erratic barn- > cor a6tor, and t< ; \ars
was deprived of the ufe of his left arm, withftanding which impediment he contrived to play the firft parts in both Tragedy and Comedy : — He performed one night for his own benefit, or rather as they phrafe it in the Green-room, ii-ent on for RICHARD the THIRD, and as he had only the ufe of his right arm, the other appendage of his body being withered, he took he took efpecial care to place the uftleis member behind him, be- fore he made his appearance on theftage, un- der the fear that it might embarrafs its ac~
* The fuppofition that any human being, in the pof- ftn-rn of intellc&ual health, could be an Athieft, has ever fteen rcje^ed by my undtrftanding as a ci: cumftance whol- ly impofilble— lam certain that the fcebleft efforts of con- templation mufi overthrow an error fo fupretnely horri- ble— the conftitution of man, his dependencies and obli- gations— the univerfe, its phenomena and the principles on which the harmony of its wonderful revolutions are efla- bli/hcd, mud in fome degree irrefiftibly force themftlves np-:n rhe mind in the hour of retirement. r.»-d make the animal pious in defpite cf his mental abomination.
tive
tire brother— but unluckily for him, every time he exerted his voice, he could not avoid fnaking the lame arm out of its place—-
Having adjufted his lifelefs extremity and habiliments, he ftalked with collected ma- iefty to the lamps on the ftage, and began thus:
«' Now are our brows crown'd with vi wreaths."
At this divifion of the argument, his left arm made its appearance, which he in- ftantly and unkindly flapped back with the right hand.
" Our ftern aTanas are chang'd to marry meet- ings."
Now the left arm appeared again, and was again chaftifed .
" Grim vifag'd war has fmooth'd bis wrinkkJ
froQt."
H 4 Ditto
( io4 )
Ditto the arm, and ditto the confe- quences.
In this manner did he proceed, and whenever he particularly enforced a word, it was immediately followed by a ftroke from the right arm — whether the unfeemly tyrant foothed or raved — fought or prayed, the complexion of the iflue was eafily fore- told— the end of every fcene was a loud burft of laughter fiom the aftonifhed audi- tory. Poor GEMEA was as fingular in his mode of difcourfing as he was in his perfon and manner. A Waterman who was. row- ing him over the Liffey (truck up the long of
" Bacon, beans, fait beef and cabbage,
" Butter milk and oaten bread. Fol der iddle lol, Fol der iddle lol, Fol der iddle, oddje iddle, tol lol lol.
Sir, faid the Prompter, with much gravity, you are wrong; it is not Fol der iddle lol.
What is it then, my rrafter ? faid the vo^ cal Charon,
Why
Why it is Fa, la ra, da. Howfhould I know that, my matter ? Read the book, you varlet !
But I muft leave the Prompter and return to the Actor — EDWIN had now contracted an acquaintance with a Mr. WALDE- GRAVE, a performer of Smock Alley, who valued himfelf for his powers in MACBETH* j
and
''* I have always confidered MACBETH as the moft diffi- cult character to be aptly afiumed in the whole round of SHAKESPEAR'S drama, but maugrethe allowed hazard of the undertaking, we fcarce behold a whipfter on no ftage, who does not imagine himfelf qualified to depict all the variety of pafiion, and if I may be allowed the pin . c demi-pa/Jion, of that wonderfully agitated perfonage. — A friend of mine, of high celebrity in the literary world, who has been in the habit of obferving our London MAC- BETrU for the laft forty years, wrote the following lines.
Old Qy IN eve fate fupprefs'd his lab'ring breath, In ftudied accents grumbled out Macbeth. Next GARRICK came, whofe utterance truth imprett, While every look the tyrant's guilt confeft : . Then the cold SHERIDAN half froze the part,
Vet what he loft by nature, fav'd b- art.
Tall
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and exported by Mr. MOSSOP'S agent in ' London with feveral others — this young gen- tleman's conceit was exactly proportioned to his infufficiency — and to regifter the truth, the majority of them were ignorant, vain and preiuming — in their profeffional efforts the V. and W. like the 6gur antes in a Bal- let, often changed fides, and the famples of
Tall BARRY nest advanc'd tcnv'rd Birnam wood, Nor ill perform'd, uhatfcarce lie underftood. Grave Mossop then ereft, purfu'd his march, His wards were minute guns — his actions ftarch. Rough HOLLANB too— rolld round his favagceye, Half ftamp'd with excellence from David's die. Then heavy Ross eflay'd the tr.ipic frown, But beef and pudding kept all meaning down : Next flippant SMITH aflum'd the murderer's m,ifk, While o'er his tongue light tript the horrid taik. - By trick notacwmen, he toSI'd to pleafe, And all the man \vas buftle, noife and eafe. Hard MACKLIN late guilt's feelings ftrove tofpe^fc, "While fweats infernal drench 'd his iron cheek. Then error's pin-balket JOHN KEMBLE came, Who builds his arrogance on publick fhame. Like FIELDIVG'S Kings, his fancied triumph's paft, AH be can boaft k that— he fail'd the laft ! ! !
Cockney
Cockney Englijh were not unfrequent, tho' on all occafions abhorrent.
One of thofe callow candidates for pub- lick fame, giving a defcription averred, " that he faid, that fhe faid, that it was no fuch thing ; and he faid than fhe faid, that he fhould fay that it was "monftrous wrong for to come for to go for to fay fo — and that he verily Relieved that fhe did that there thing for the purpofe."
Another youth who was engaged for the tyrants in Tragedy, and who unqueftionably thought himfelf profefllonaliy as great as Mr. GARRICK, told the company the en- fuing ftory.
" Mr. SPRIGGINCS vos faying t'other day, as how he werily did think that weal vas better eating than wen/en-, to be fure weal is wery good of the kind; but Mr. SPRIGGINGS, fays I, gimme ixenjcn, gimme wenfotiy fays I, Mr. SPRIGGINGS : for my part, as for the matter of that, d'ye fee, I vos iva/lfy fond ofwenfijt, for after ail now,
what
can be more better er or more Eli M wow its the wery beft of whittles, isn't it, eh ? and for a man to fay as how that weal vas betterer then wenfon is cer- tainly very monftrous and woidof all reafon; isn't it eh ? He might as well fay that voice ought to be walued above wirtue, or that wxnuts can be pickled without winegar -3 mightn't he, eh? — I axt him, fays I d'ye think now, neighbourSpRiGGiNGS,thatC;'^;- jrs are good without Ingons, and fo he gave Jich an out o'th* vay arnjwer9 that I told him him, fays I, Mr. SPRIGGINGS, you ii'crih deferve to be pelted i-itb brick bracks, and rolled in the kindle fays I, till you arc as black in the face as a chimblyfaecper, fays I, and tbat there comes, fays I, as a yawning for winelifating Jicb an apinicn. I *uos right, wasn't I, eh ?— And fo then he ttevoked Jum- mat about being fcrcwdged wAfque edged by the mob in the vitfen veek, and this here and that there > and things of that there kynd, and fo he wonted me to take a vawk as far as the peeches in Common Garden ; but fays I, Mr. Sprigging* fays I, you are a fc:i!et i'orthkjsy wappid feller, Hiys I, and fo
I don'c
( I09 )
don't vant no more conwerfation vith people that don't know common fcnfe fays I : I vas right, wasn't I, eh ? — befides, fays I, you are as ignorant as the wery commonefts of ratches, who do nothing at all but talk about
ff Breakfaftes and toaftcjfcs, and running their heads againft Poftejfes"
Had the Reverend Mr. * HERRIS been in exiftence and heard this fpeech, he would have inftantly declared this tragic Hero ignorant of every circumftance incidental to an orator ; that he was unacquainted with refpiration-r- fituation of the lungs — ufe of
:'' This Reverend gentlcmr.n, \vho -was never fingular for his diffidence, had the temerity about twelve years fince to go to Oxford, to teach the gentlemen of that feminary the true mode of pronouncing the English lan- guage, though Mr. HERRIS \v#s notorious forfpeaking with a grating, broad Caledonian accent ; but the recep- tion he met with, will not I believe operate as a fiimuhts to encourage any more attempts of the faav kind, from impudent men thus circumflanccJ.
the
the windpipe — prefiure of pthe air upon the vocal glands, influence of breathing — power of circulation — fituation and ufe of the larynx and glottis, and the modifications of found by the organs of the mouth, the tongue, the jaw, the uvula and the noftrils — uninformed of the harmony of fpeech, modulation of the voice, climax and anti- climax, emphafis, and all the variegated and combined properties of human utte- rance.
To be a great Aflor is to be literally a great man; fuch an ambitious being as a dramatic volunteer, ought to have a perfon unexceptionably well proportioned, where the beauties of the Anlinous are blended with the mufcular dignity of the farneje Hercules : his fund of animal fpirits, like the horn of plenty, fhould be exhauftlefs, his imagina- tion creative, and his education liberal ; but chiefly and above all, he muft be deeply acquainted with the principles of an orator, whereby he may be enabled to enforce the dogmas of truth, and make that apparent- ly amiable, which §h in its nature hideous. 4 This .
This knowledge is indifpenfably neceflary at the bar, but more immediately upon the ftage — To enforce this neceflity, I will fpeak in the words of Quintilian ; " The ftrong- eft argument that an orator can produce, will Jofe its efFect if not fupported by an empha- tical delivery, for all the pafiions droop, if they are not inflamed by the tone of voice, the turn of the countenance, and indeed the carriage of the whole bodyj" and happy arc we, when we have accompliihed all this, if even then our judge fhall catch our warmth j by no means can we affed him with a carelefs indifference, but he muft neceffarily fink and be diflblved in our drow- finefs." Even the Afters upon the ftagc afford an excellent example of this, who add fo much grace to the productions of our beft poets, that in the hearing they give us infinitely greater pleafure than in the read- ing j and gain our attention even to fuch witlefs effays, as the REGENT and the QUEEN of SCOTS i fo that thofe pieces fhall frequently bring a crowded and liftening audience, which judgment will no: allow a fituation in our library,
"It
. " It is needlefs, fays a late celebrated writer, to enter upon an enquiry into the Greek and Latin accents, which they divi- ded into grave* acute, and circumflex, and how far the fame accents retain their quality with us — but the ufe of the accented fylla- bles are fo important, that they conftitutt almoft die whole harmony of compofition — by their different mode of arrangement, a fentence is either eafy or flowing, or harfh and unmufical ! thefe men who have culti- vated an ear for fpeaking or writing, can iudge as it were inftinctively, whatever is defective or redundant in the ftructiire of any particular period. We find in gene- ral, that thofe fentences are the moft har- monious which admit of the greateft num- ber of accented fyllables ; that which pleafes the ear in reading, is the interval between the accent ; but if thefe intervals are filled up by a clutter of accented fyllables, there is no divifion in the tone. That this is the rea- fon that when too many emphatic mono- fyllables are introduced into compofition, they never fail to ob(truc~l the harmony, the following examples from MILTON will fhew :
Ocr
( "3 )
O'er bog, o'er fteep, thro' rough, Jenfe,f>nootb, or rate, film firjl, him lajl, him mid/1, and without end.
In the firft line there are three acute ac- cents placed together ; and in the other no lefs than fix, provided it is pronounced with juft emphafis. — In fuch words the voice it retained in the fame degree of energy and tone, without being allowed to relax into the general intervals now mentioned.
I have attempted to tranfhte the fol- lowing flanza in fapphic verfe, retaining, as exactly as I could, the arrangement of the
accented fy liable —
Puae fub curru nimium propinqiii
i z 3 4
Soils in terra domibus negata ;
i z 5 4
Dulce ridentem Lalagen amabo
I 2
Dulce loquentcm.
I 2 3 4
Place me where fun fhir.e ever o'er me fcorches, •Climes v. here no mortal build his habitation,
i 13 4
Y<?t with my charmer fondly will I wander,
I Z
Fondly converting.
VOL. i. I I have
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I have marked the accents according to the emphatic reading — we often find words, that in common difcourfe bear no forcible fignification, yet, are neverthelefs in certain fituations the moil ftriking in the whole feri- tence. Take but the following paiTage from the Merchant of fa/rice, when PORTI Aac- cufes BASSANIO for parting with the ring ; he makes this apology :
• Sweet PORTIA,
If you did know TO whom I gave the ring", If you did know FOR. whom I gave the ring, And wou'd conceive for WHAT I gave the ring, And how unwillingly I LEFT the ring, When naught would be accepted BUT the ring-, You wou'd abate the ftrength of your difpleafure.
Here the words ff to," " for," " what," tc left," and " but," are the leading empha- tic words.
Certain it is, that harmony of pronunci- ation was cultivated by the antients with peculiar care*. A learned critic is of opi- nion,
* I have fubjoincd an example how the climax of fpeech may be preferved with propriety, even when an equal ftrcfc of vocal force accompanies every word.
EXAMPLE,
( "5 )
nion, that the tones of voice which they ufed in publickly reciting their poems, were quite different from thofe of their common converlation. And I am the more induced tp coincide with this opinion, becaufe Ci- cero informs us, thatRofcius, the celebrated actor, had a perfon behind him on the ftage to accompany with an inftrument the tones of his fpeech : and that when by old age> his voice became feeble and tremulous, the artifl adapted the warbling of the pipe to
the
EXAMPLE. I MUST WALK UP THAT HILL.
Thefe fix words admit of fix diferen" ways of hying the emphafis according to the nature 'of the queftion ; and yet the necefiity of laying the emphafis properly is fo manifefi, that the reader will perceive the leaj deviation from this rule wcruld be deftru&ive of the true meaQ- irig.
If it is afked WHO muft walk-up th.it hill?
The anfwer is— i muft walk up that hill.
If it mould be required why you walk up that hill;
The anfw.er is — I MUST walk up that hill.
Shou'd jt be requeftcd — HO\V you go up that hill?
The anfwer is— I muft WALK up that hill.
If demanded which way you walk up that hill?
The anfwer is — I muft walk UP that lull.
I * When
f "6 )
the pitch and quality of his voice. This is an undeniable proof, that there muft have been a confiderable degree of melody in their manner of pronouncing.
Dionyfius HallicarnalTus has even adapted a part of a verfe in Euripides to mufical notes, and mentions the exact manner in which it fhould be uttered.
I have annexed * principles of do cut ion on a new plan.
All fpeech or language is compofed cf certain articulate founds, which are here un- folded in the moft fimple form ; fome of them are vocal and fome not\ they are 29 in number, and divided into four claffes, viz. vowels, half -towels y ajpirates, and mutes. The firft are purely vocal, without any ob- ilrudlion. in the mouth j the fecond likewifc vocal, but obftrnfted* The third are only
When interrogated WHICH hill you walk up? The anfwer is — I muft walk up THAT hill. If folicited WHERE it is you muft walk|? The anfwer is — I muft walk that HILL.
* VidcHerrie* Elements of fpeech.
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ivbifpers or articulations of breath. The fourth neither articulations of breath nor of voice, but quick explojives arifing from the clofe pofition of the organs — this will be more clearly illuftrated by the following
The SIMPLE SOUNDS in the ENGLISH LANGUAGE,
[•
1 145 678 9
Am,More, Good, Rum, Jrm, Fan, Bed, Fame, &?, Half-Vowels.
Vocal. •< * z 1 4 S 6 7f8
Ri?7/} Spu; , Huw/, Fi;/, So«g, Brea/^, Lea^c, Bus:,
_9_
Vijion,
ASPIRATES.
r Brea/^, Lea/, Bu^, Wi!/;, Hall. Uiivocal. < Mutes.
C RiX WeJ, Lo|, Rij, We/, Lo
FORMATION OF THE VOWELS.
The i ft and 4th are produced by the fame pofition of the tongue, which is pulled back- wards and much depreffed, to render the Cavity of the mouth as wide as poflible. In the ad and jd, the lips are reduced to a more narrow and circular form. The found I 3 of
( "3 )
of the firft four is much broader and fuller than the reft, arifing from the flat pofition of the tongue. — In the other five, the tongue reaches forward, and gradually af- cends towards the arch of the palate, to flraiten the paffage and render the found more acute. The e, which is the laft in the fcale, is the fharpeft and fmglleft, be- caufe the tongue is higher, and the corners of the mouth more extended than the reft. In all the vowels the lower jaw affifts and accompanies the action of the tongue. The u and f, which are the 4th and yth, are in every fituation pronounced Jhort. Some- times two of thefe vowels are repeated by one mark, as / in kindy or u in muje ; i is a combination of the 4th and 9th, and u of the 9th and 3d. That thefe are the fame vowels which occur in almoft every fyl- lable of the language, the following fpeci- men will fhew.
VOWELS MARKED.
8 z 9 ..',9 i 917 4
IT?. , h.'l>- L/ght Off>pr/ng <,fllea\cn, firft born,
11 7 4 6 2746 }
Or of th' eternal, co-eternal 'Btam, 4.9 7 7 94 8
'd.
I cannot
4,9 f>
8 9,3 9 4 6 4 J 4-0 6 r ?
an/vvrfal Love act fm/Ies around*
9 'i 91 i 6 ! 84
«nd «11 the/r S/ms.
FORMATION OF THE HALF VOWELS.
As there are three of the half vowels far ^vhich we have no fingJe or particular mark, viz. the $th, 6th, and 9th j we fhall diftin- guilh them by ng, dhy and zb. The half- vowels are all vocals, and capable of mufi- cal tones. The fine found of / is produced by applying the top of the tongue to the upper gum, and allowing the breath to efcape gently by thejtdes, but if the whole force of the breath be conducted to the top of the tongue, it forms the rough vibration of r. The found of m, n, and »g, is emitted folcly through the noftrils : in ms the breath is flopped at the lips j in » at the fore part of the palate, and in ;;g, at the hinder part. The dhy or 6th half- vowel, is formed by thrufting the top of the tongue gently through the teeth ; the v, by laying the upper teeth on the under lip j the z, by raifing the up- per part of the tongue in a ftraight direction 1 4 againft
againft the palate. And the zb, or 9th half-. vo\vel, by the top of the tongue a little more depreffed than in the former. Sometimes the half-vowels form a perfect fyliable by them- felves, as / in bottle, r in fceptre, n in open. That thefe vocal articulations likewifc occur in language, will appear in the following
lines ;
I
HALF VOWELS MARKED.
4*4 4? * " 9 4
Good Nature a/ztl good Se«fc mufi. a/w
I J 3 » .7 74
To err is hawan ; to forgii.-e, di-z'i«e.
6664 2 944 4
Ktfow t/«n this truth, enough for .Marc to k«ow
71 148 4 i
flrtue a/ose ij Happiwefs be/ow.
FORMATION OF THE ASPIRATES.
In pronouncing the ofpirates, the glottis is in the fame inactive flate, as in whifpering or common breathing. Hence it is that they poflefled no vocal quality, and are incapa- ble of mufical modulation. There are likewife two of the afpirates, viz. the ift and 4th, for which we have no fingle mark; we lhall reprefent them, by tb> and Jh. The fb is produced by the fame pofition of
the
the organs in the mouth, as the db ; the f as the v, the J as the z, and the _/& as the zb. All the difference between the four half vowels, and the four afpirates, is, that the former have a vocal Jound in the throat, and the latter have not. The b, or fth af- pirate, is only a ftrong impulfe of die breath jigainft the palate, as in fighing. The fol- lowing examples will demonftrate, that in fpeaking, the afpirates retain (till the fame mvocal qualify,
ASPIRATES MARKED.
2 ? ? ? 2
Of man's/int di/bbedieru-e, and thc/ruit a 5 j
Of that /orbidden Tree, wAofe mortal tajtc, Brought Dcat& into the World
5 j j 4
W/ten even at last, the/olemn hour sAall come, And wing my myjtic /light to/uture Worlds, I c^>ear/ul will obey.
FORMATION OF THE MUTES,
The clofe formation of the mutes obdrudbs both the breath and the voice. The firft three, £, d} and ^, are produced by the
fame
fame pofition of the organs, as the m3 n> and ng. But in thefe mutes, no breath is al- lowed to efcape outwardly : There is only an obfcure murmur heard in the mouth and noftrils, which is fcarcely perceptible in common fpeech. The three laft mutes, •viz : ft /, and ky are produced in the fame manner as the three former, but they are entirely void of any kind of found -, all the confonants, except the mutes, have an inde- pendent found of their own, and are pro<- nounced the fame, when feparated, as whe,n combined.
MUTES MARKED.
2. 4 On a fu<Wen open fly
± a *35
Th' infernal aoars, an^/ on their hinges ^ra/e
t.
Harfb Thunder.
42 15
Thcu rather with thy fhar/> an*/ fulph'rous Z>oA, 4 <; I =12 * 6
S/li/'ft the unweJgeaAk anrf gnarkJ Oa*.
Than the fo& mynlc.
In the wrftfudden the breath is totally ftopped by the d> till it is relieved by the
;/. The
( "3 )
>;. The explofion of the mnte is hard, either ! _-nly ilarts, to or from its pofition, ~s i::.-.\ he perceived in the word Bolt, ••'/, \\here both the preceding, and fol- lowing found, confpire to render the ex-
It appears from the above account, that all the confonants are produced by only 9 different pofitions oftheorgansin the mouth, viz :
(L) (R) (M, B, P) (N, D, T) (N G, G, K) fDlf,
T'.l 9
T H) (V, F) (Z, S) (Z H, S H)
But I fhall now return to JOHN EDWIN and his adolefcent purfuits. A fyftem of amity having commenced between him and Mr. WALDEGRAVI, they communed on the nature of their Dublin engagements, and the profpefts of that in agitation between ED- WIN, and the Edinburgh manager. After a mutual difplay of opinion, by Vvhich the metaphyficians could not be emboldened in their dogmas, it was determined that the latter was the more defirable circum-ftance, 4 as
us EDWINT would have a better caft of parts, and full pofleffion of all the Comedy old men.
This converfation patted at the com- mencement of Mr. MOSSOP'S feafbn, and the execution of an elopement (for to elope they were both refolved) was deferred until a more favourable opportunity fhould offer. Upon the ftrength of WALDEGRAVE'S purfe, ED WIN was to profecute his journey to EDINBURGH, accompanied by the lender; on their arrival WALDEGRAVE was to ufe his beft endeavours to procure an engage- ment, but on failure, it was ftipulated, that EDWIN fhould maintain him, as a fort of re- compence for hazarding his cafh for the ufes of his friend, until he procured an en- gagement elfewhere, or thought it expedient to withdraw.
After this refolution, the matter dropt for a few weeks, during which time EDWIN boarded and lodged in the fame houfe as was before obferved, with Mr. and Mrs. JEFFERUS, who resided in a handfome firft r floor
( "5 )
floor on the Batchelor's Walk. The theatre was indifferently attended, and the features of his facred Majefty fcarcely vifible, even on little pieces of iilverj confequently, ED- WIN* was ofcen obliged to fubftitute a pipe of Oroonoko for the blefiings of a beef fleak, and vapid fmall beer for the exhilerating juices of a Languedoc vintage.
* Artaxerxes and another ferious opera were then in agitation, which rendered the comedians of little utility, and liberated their
reHec-
" Perhaps no men have been more unj uftly accuftd of impropriety of condud, than the managers of the Metro- politan Theatres of Ireland; and the three fourths of thofc accufations have originated in the fcarcity of cafh — Tho truth is, that the receipts of a Dublin theatre have never been in my remembrance, and as far as I can undcrftand, never were before that period, equal to the maintenance of a magnificent company of performers, which thelrifh f entry feem to require, though they do not make the fup- port equal to the expenditure. The iarne ipirit of uuiie- ceflary repreheniion which has afiaited Mr. DALY, was levelled a gain ft his predeceflbrs, Mr. RYDBR, Mr. Mos- rop, Mr. BARRY, Mr. WUODWAF.D, Mr. DAWSOS a;;d Mr. SH£R.ID.}\ — AnoJ.hu- evil prevails which is fomewhat curisus: an actor who will ;:!.iy contc;itedly for firty fal- ling* per ^i-L'e.i in England, in an unaccountable manner r^\iK:; four pounds to play ia Dublin, though the pul>];>- encouragement is neany the far::;: i:j Li.'.i; : la^v.;, and if
any
( 126 )
reflection merely to repine over the uncouth - nefs of an empty purfe — full on: they held it to their tearful eyes, and fighed and look- ed, and fighed again — in all great bodies of people, neglect of payment begets negleft of manners; and as afters have their feel- ings in common with the reft of mankind, EDWINT and JEFFERIES evinced every incli- nation to rebel againft a government, whofe foflering wing was ftript of its richeft fea- thers ; and fo inclined were they to be bold and fancy in the very teeth of the fupreme authority in confequence of non -payment at the Treafurer's Office, that, after conferfing in the Green Room upon the melancholy ftate of MOSSOP'S eftablifhment on an opera night, when they had nothing to do in the diurnal toil ; on retiring to the iiage door of
any cfthcio v. ir. migrnters are fined, for inattention to their duties, they return to England, high charged with impro- per prejudices, and circulate reports, which tend only to circumfcribe the felicities of the profefikm. I have heard Mr. DALY frequently traduced for actions which I never \vitnefled, but candour impels me to rehte one faci which I did. The late Mr. DIGGES was old, infirm and neceflitous — Mr. DALY faw his diftrefies, and fmoothcd his paflage to the grave by fuch kindnefies, as a liber.il mind only could fuggeft and delicacy execute.
the
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the theatre, they made no ceremony of running a crofs the ftage in fight of the au- dience, notwithftanding Tenducci was warb- ling his beft fong in ARBACES, and holding the ears of beauty in bondage, in defiance of all order, dramatic etiquette and good government.
JEFFERIES was of a very lazy difpofition, and EDWIN not the moft induftrious of bi- perds— frequent difputes arofe from the fupinenefs of the former, and the inert habits of the latter. The tea-kettle being left on the fire one morning after breakfaft, JEFFERIES defired EDWIN to take it ofF.— EDWIN made the fame requeft to JEFFERIES, but as neither would comply it continued on the coals, till Mrs. JEFFERIES came in, vho had been at breakfaft wkh ?/lr. MOSSOP to receive fome infiructions neceffary to her greatnefs as a ftage heroine— learn the force and nature of interjections, and have her * fart marked.
This
* Marking a part, is making a ftroke beneath any particular pafTage or word where the eraphafis Ihould be
moft powerful, a; thus •
Is
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This lady exifts on record as of a pliable difpoiition, and MOSSOP took great pains with her, as he was wont to do with every new a<ftrefs not perfonally repulfive that came within the walls of his theatre : he •was accuilomed to fay in his turgid manner, " Madam, if you will call upon me to- " morrow morning, I will mark your part <c for you." And the fair ftrugglers for po- pularity of the dramatic diadem, feldom, came away from his imperial prefence with- out being convinced of the ftrefs he could lay upon an efiential monofyllable.
The firfl thing Mrs. JEFFERIES did on entering the room, was, to go to the fire, and feeing the tea-kettle, was in the a6t of removing it, but finding it very light, and on fhaking it, no water, was tempted to examine the bottom ; when lo, it was detached from its relative and concomitant ribs of tin U— The adtrcfs inftantaneoufty
Is this the region, this the iLJ!, the dimej That \ve mule change for Ha-vsti ? this Muiirr.ful gloom for that celeftial Ijgbi?
burft
( '29 )
burft into an exclamation of forrow, and wept copioufly for a misfortune they all well knew it would be fo difficult to repair * while JEFFRIES accompanied her by playing and fsnging, " Water parted iroin the tea," and EDWIN by tenderly chaundng as a collateral confolation,
«* Oh dry thofe tears, Kke melted ore Faft dropping cu ray heart they fall."
About this epoch of his exiitence, ED- WIN was introduced to a new acquaintance of the name of* LEX NAN, who was pro-
* This gentleman vras generally known a few years poflerior to this event, by the name of MAJOR LtNSAN ; he acquired this dfttindtion, by the following chain of occurrences — The Comedy of the ll'efl Indian vas per- formed at Crov-ftreet Theatre, for the benefit of Air. RICHARD SFARKF, and the part of MAJOR O'Fi~AHEK.Tr was crafted by Mr. LENSAN, it being his firft appearance on any ftage ; but the ambitious maker of fed dies iras fo unequal to the attempt, that a general monnurfrfdi&p- probation ran througfi the audkncc, and the pliy was finifhed as fait as poffible — At the conclufion of the enter- tiinment Mr.SpAREs gave afuppertto\vhichMrXENNAK was innUd— Arhea the parties had become inebriate, they all faBied forth into College green, where Mr. SPARKS formally delivered Mr. L.ENXAN to the watch, charging him \vith the naurderof an officer, by the name of O'pLA- HtRTY — the matter was ierioufly taken, arid poor LEH- NAK dragged like an aifaffin to a filthy dungeori, where he •was confined all night, and treated with every fpecies of indignity, until the comical bufinefs was properly un. VOL. i, K
fefiionally afadler, and offome notoriety irf Dublin j for his facetioufnefs and compa- nionable qualities
The time now arrived for EDWIN ant! WALDEGRAVE to put their preconcert! elopement to Edinburgh in execution, a$ a veflel for Par legate was to fail that ev:n- ing. — To elude fufpicion in the manager on the part of EDWIN, who was of fotne rt- queftin theTheatrc, and WALDEGRAVE little better than a non-entity, the former went to Ringfend (a village call of Dublin about two miles), dined upon oyfters, and hired a boat to overtake the veflfd which was get* ting under fail, and by the force of bribes and perfuafion he at lait got up with her — WALDEGRAVE decamped as boldly from Alton's Quay, as Casfar from the fhores of Gaul, without any apprehenfion of being detained by Mr. MOSSOP or his under- ftrappers, his infignificar.ee in the Theatre rendering all caution unnecelfary.
TEolus was favourable to the expedition—- they arrived in twelve hours at Parkgate,
ravelled before the fitting Alderman, and the unfortunate LE-NNAN emancipated from the horrors of a noiibif.e prifon.
which
which interval was pafied pleafantly with fome Irifh ladies and gentlemen who were ftilow paflengers, and than whom no peo- ple in the world are more agreeable in their manner, or fafcinating in their language. — When the veflel had ploughed the fait fea abut two leagues beyond Ireland's eye, EDWIN evinced every fymptom of approaching ficknefs — he put his hand to his ftomach, and opened and Ihut his mouth, without any feeming caufe — at length he was led to his birth in the cabin, and depofited imme- mediately under the fat wife of a maltfter from Drogheda ; who was going to War- rington to receive a legacy — EDWIN feeling himfelf extremely uncomfortable, flretched his head out of the compartment, like a goofe for food, and bellowed for his afibci- ate WALDEGRAVE, but unfortunately turn- ing upon his back and diftending his jaws to make his wants as audible as he could, he received unopportunely the hot expecto- ration from the lufty lady above him, who at that inftant was difemboguing the contents of her ftomach with as much anti- pathy as poflible — The player's vifage was K i completely
( 13* )
tompletely inerufted with filth, but the for* row was not durable — the marine chamber- lain's underftrapper defcended with a large mop, and quickly abforbed the contamina- tion with the addrefs of a Dutch domeftic — • The hearts of thefe theatric adventurers began to glow with undefcribable tranfport when they leapt from the fiiip's boat upon their native land ; — the natalejolmn touched the chords of their fenfes, and made them vibrate with delight — tho' their reflections only tended to firengthen a regret that they had left a kindom which had treated them with generofity, notwithstanding their re- ftritted pretenfions to popular acclaim.
A poft chaife conveyed them to Chefter, where they remained a few days, when EDWIN was taken ill, and becoming worfe> it was propofed by WALDEGRAVE to go to Manchefter — this meafure was acceded to by EDWIN ; the bill of the inn was dif- charged, a carriage ordered, and after a few hours travel they were fafely let down at tht Bull's head in Manchefter. >—
Their
( 133 )
Their leading motive for going to town was, that a company of Comedians were at that time performing there, and the hope of an engagement induced them both to make the trial, as EDWIN had declared, he was too indifpofed to attempt the journey .to Edinburgh, originally intended— They took care to introduce themfelves the day .after their arrival to the Manager, Mr. WHITLEY, a man of a very fmgular difpo- fition, and to whom, more whiinfical and out of the way exertions are imputed, than £o any other Manager or country Aftor in the Britifh territory — the eccentricity of his difpofition brought him often into ftrange fituations, but the goodnefs of his heart fuljy atoned for the errors of his underftanding j and however marvellous or irregular fome of his actions might appear, he perpetrated others of a nature fo dignified, that they would have done honour to the poflefibr of a national throne.
Sir WILLIAM TEMPLE has aflerted, that
the abilities of a man muft fall fliort on on$
fide or the other — fomewhat like having
JC 3 a blanket.
( 134 )
a blanket too fcanty when you are in bed — • if you pull it upon your flioulders, you muft leave your feet bare ; and if you thruft it down to defend your feet, your flioulder^ muft remain uncovered.
Mr. WHITLEY valued himfelf in being able as a country Manager, to play any of Shakefpear's plays without a double* j he had a great opinion of his own powers, and was certain, that however mean a character or part might be ccnfidered in the drama, he had the ability to make it appear confpicu- ous ; and to prove this imaginary power, frequently threw himfelf into fuch fituati- ons which always created merriment and farcaftic humour in his company, and laugh- ter in the audience — " now my boys," he would fay, *" I wiii fhew you an example, for which perhaps you may thank me during the remainder of your lives— Now mind me, I will give you a touch of the old fchool —
*By the word double is meant the neceflity which often occurs in travelling companies of the fame individuals to
Cure performance.
fome-
Something beyond the ideas of the vulgar — as the little burnijher of rhimes at Twicken- ham ufed to fay,
* " I'll fnatch a grace beyond the reach of art.'5
He was fond of .declaring, that the inat- tention of managers in the caft of parts was fhameful ; that he knew a good A6lor could make the moft trifling characters appear glorious; and, faid he, " to evince the truth of my aflertion, you fhall fee me undertake one of the worft parts in RICHARD the THIRD," and the next day's play bill pompoufly announced, i# Jarge letters., the part of the
LIEUTENANT of the TOWER,
for that night only, by Mr. WHITLEV,
(being his fir ft appearance in that
character).
:- GUIDO, whofe fancy was dedicated to and marfhalled by harmony, afierted, that no man could give a rule of the greater beauties, and that the knowledge of them was fo abftrufe, that there was no manner of fpeaking which could exprefs them. This tallies with the ideas of QUIN- TILIAN who fays, that things incredibje wanted words to exprefs them : for fome of them are too great, and too> much elevated, to be comprehended by human difcourfe.
K 4 Thoft
Thofe perlbns who are acquainted with the etiquette of play -bills, muft know that fuch a piece of information as the abov« fliould be attached only to a principal part, and a principal actor ; and that the adoption of it on fo trivial an occafion, united to fo weak a reprefentation, could only tend to engender ridicule if not contempt;. — Mr. WHiTLEvwas in point of profefllonal excel- lence, not a whit fuperior to the late Mr. PAINTER of Co vent Garden Theatre, and remarkably fond of die old method of acting, viz. — a great halt or twitch in the gait, a very grave face on all occafions, and aa inflexible regard in tragedy for the interefts of ti-ti-tumt li-tiim, ti-tum, tl-tum /;".*
To
e A ftriking proof of the mifconception of lovr a&on. occurred a few jrenrs fince at Briitoi — Mr. MOODY had fekfted HEXK.Y the EIGHTH for his benefit, and caft the part of SURREY tothelateMr. RtJGEX. WRIGHT, who •would not attend the reltearials until the day of perform- ance— MOOBY, fomewhat netUedby WEIGHT'S conduiS, reproached him for his inattention to one of SHABLE- s?EAS.E'sbea plays— *: Come, come, MASTER MOODY," laid ROGER., " you are wrong there at any rate — it does nut ttrike me as any fuch thing/' *' No? " rejoined gire ne youf reafong,1' — " look in the title
pagr,'
To be coatidered as a great man an the prefent cultivated ftate of foekty, is a very great honor, but the rapkt fitiduadoa c£ cuftoin makes the bafis of thac greatnefs dif- fer every twenty y^ars, and I am certain, that 7?ere BETTERTON— MONFORT— BOOTH, QuiN—NoRRis— BULLOCK— Wiz.K5—HiF- PESLEY — LEIGH — GIBBER — PENKETHMAN, and DOGGET^ of the merij and Mrs, BARRY— BETTERTQ^ — PRITCHAR-D — CLIVE — FOR- TEH— OLD?IELI>, and CJSBER. sow alive, and in full pofTeflion of their faculties, they would appear in an inferior light upon the fame boards with LEWIS, KING, PALMEK, PARSONS, LEE LEASES QUICK, KEMBLE, HOI.MAK, WILSON, DODD, BERNARD, or WROUGHTO^ — Mrs. ABINGTON, POPE, JORDAN, FARREKT, BRUNTON, MATTOCKS, and
Thus the confluences of eveiy day re-
page," laid the other, " and ^-ou will find it was difap- proved from the beginning — fee here it is noted as one of SHAKESPEARE'S k-jl. pJays," thua miftaking tfie abbneii- ationofthe word h'ljlontal for a fixed mark of popular ccnfure—after thjs<viSRt, ROGER'S phrafe of, U dots ast jiriie me, became adopted ironically La every company ia the idn^doa).
Off
C '38 )
rit'y that religious apophthegm which in- forms us, " That the laft lhall be firft, and the firft lhall be laft."— The force of habit pollutes the purer influence of the judg- ment ; we become ductile to the mandates cf mode, without a fenfe of degradation-— This is a clime where almoft every man fafhions a humour of his own, and an alien would be led to imagine from the fingular tliverfity of the Knglilh character, that thefe varying Iflanders were indebted for their formation to the loins of Proteus; and not .thofe Romans, Saxons* Danes and devils, who have heretofore made irruptions in our proud territory-— every individual from the • Monarch to the mechanic obeys the facerp fibl morem.—T.he prejudices they imbibe cleave adhefively about their hearts, and when they are impelled to lhake them of}', they part with the vile attainments as reluc- tantly as fo many children, which though deformed and repulfivc, are ftill dear to their fcnfes, becaufe they gave the abfurdity a being. Their attempts at originality are inceffant, and the manners of the prefent day, operate as a burial to the manners of
( '39 )
the day departed — though every man, when he approaches the threlhold of eterni- ty, and takes an accurate retrofpect of the arts and imbecilities of his exiftence, mull be fick of fuch fugitive vanity, and pathe- tically own that human felicity is only com- patible with a life of innocence, and nothing ib beautiful cr dignified as truth.
National errors create national ills, anyd XERXES, ALEXANDER, CAESAR, and Louis QUATORZE, might fing the foil owing catch ia the fhades with feeling and cxpreffion.
War begets poverty, Poverty Peace; Peace makes Riches flov., Fate ne'er does ceafe^ JRiches prodr.ce Pride, Pride is War's Ground; War begets Poverty, •Thus the World goes round,
P O Z.
A,nd though I verily believe tLe pre&.nt 4&ors, (if .taken in general), are fuperior to their prede^efTo/s ; I have an equal po>-
lion
tlon of faith in the idea, that they will be cclipfed by fucceeding greatnefs — The in- ceffant revolutions of cuftom will juftify the afiertion, and this muft ever be the cafe in a country, where there is no eftablifhed memorial of what «w, and no criterion of truth precifely fignificant of wh atjkculd lc — the captivations ofHippisLEY wereftolen by SHUTER, and added to his own mental bank of humour — rwhen SHUTER was ex- finguifhed.. the combined excellence ^as parcially aiTumed by EDWIN, who by dif- fufing a radiance around die theft, peculiar to himfelf, dazzled the public vifion, and made all feem original, where a portion was imitative^— thus aclors, like warriors, make conquefts merely to add to their here- ditary dominion, and ravilh a pearl from the tiara of a remote competitor to affix in their own diadem, which previous to the politic violence was fyrHciently adorned.
Our prefent race cf opera fingers beggar all praife— We can now fee what our fa- thers could not; a number of perlbns of both fexes, who unite the powers of acting 4. and
and tinging with unufual capacity — 1 need but exhibit the following names as a proo£ ~—tjiz— KELLY, BANNISTER, JOHNS-TONE,
BOWDEN, DlGNUM, DARLEY, REINHOLD,
SEDGWICK, and INCLZDOX, Mrs. STORAGE, CROUCH, KENNE&YJ MARTYR, REYNOLDS, BANNISTER, MOUNTAIN, BLAND, and BILLINGTON. — Should pecuniary fatisfac- tion be the only reward of fuch rare qualifi- cations ? No — fingular endowments de- mand fomething more— YOUNG BEVIL in the CONSCIOUS LOVERS, does that which every gentleman will approve—a finger is introduced to charm INDIANA— at the con- clufion of the fong, BtviL in a polite man- ner prefents him with a purfe, and fpeaks thus beautifully to the lady.
** You fmile, Madam, to fee me fo com- plaifant to one whom I pay for his vine— now I own I think it not enough barely to pay thofe whofe talents are fuperior to our own j (I mean fuch talents as would become our condition if we had them) methinks we ought to do fomething more than gratify
them
them for what they do at our eommandy only becaufe their fortune is below us."
To return to the narrative. EDWIN and WALD EG RAVE waited on Mr. WHITLEY die manager, to folicit an engagement—- but whether it arofe from his company be- ing full, or that the appearance of thofe itinerants promifed no additional aggran- dizement, I cannot determine -f but certain k is that WHITLEY gave them both an icy negative, but this negative was qualified by the fuceeeding exhortation, " Gentlemen, you have embarked in a profeffion of all others the mod difficult to fulfil with pro- priety— from the youthful afpecl of ye both, your practice mud have been limited, and your conception of the evils you mud en-
eounter imperfect nothing fhort of an
krefidible propenGty Ihould induce any man to venture his peace upon the ftage, where, to many, even his excellencies appear as defects — If you go to London, the fountain head of theatric fame, with what torments k the blefiing of a decent falary intermingled ---you are there fubject to the
con-
C 143 )
emnation of every ideot, in whofe por- trait malice or rneannefs are predominant features --an aclor is frequently brought out of the country on a fmai! faiary to fupplant one in town, that the manager may fuppofe too confequential---the queftion on thefe occa- fions is, What fort of a performer is this gentleman from York ? the anfwcrer re- joins excellent— but as all things are deter- mined by comparison, it frequently happens that the aclor who appeared very meritori- ous at York, being the bell there, will look very indifferent in London, when ex- hibiting on tht fame boards with per ions -of fuperior genius— -even the late Mr. Garrick confefled himfelf in an error on this point to the facetious Mr. Foote, who was then a member of Drury-lane Theatre," " \Vhy Sir," laid he, (fpeaking of a raw comedian) <f I thought this man a capital fellow at Norwich, but now I fee him by WZSTOX, I am convinced to the contrary"—" You are right, DAVY," faid the wit, " compan- ions determine every thing, therefore, when Hi all I perform BAYES ?" "when you will Sir," added GARRICK, " but I take die
hint,
( '44 )
certainly for my own honour keep cot of die way"" — M Now, gentlemen/* laid WBITLEY, '* thougji an a&or in die country has. nothing tx> fear from the fevc- rity of diurnal criticifm, he has every tiling to apprehend from bad huftnefs, and the daemons of ftarvation — I have been a- ma- nager myfclf feveral years, aod have often played through a whole town without fha- jing zjeits — I well remember upoc; one of ^iefe unfortunate movements, that I chan- ced to pals by a public houfe wiodow, and on looking in, faw feveral of sny s<5lor s. ca» over a large bowl of punch, as s& Co many frnugglers in the year fifty—I immediately reproved them lor their leeming extravagance — " are not you afhatned gentlemen," faid I, " to- drink punch, while I your employer ana obliged to drink water ?"— " Why, mailer W HIT- LEY," anfwered a pert fellow, <c I am fure you cion't intend to pay for Hf* — " No/* faid I, <ecor you neither, byG d."
** Gentlemen," continued WHITLEY, te acting is fo laborious, difagreeable, and
"unpro-
( «4S )
Unprofitable a profefiion, except to thofe who by the art of puffing, or other finifter means, Can mount to the lummit of popularity, and even- then it is not recompenfed with fuch pleafurable douceurs as many Other fituations in life, lefs often tatious, but more defirea- ble — fof my part, I have been born and bred to it, and cannot difencumber myfelf of its inquietudes— indeed, now I do not wifh it— as I have paffed the meridian of my being in circumnavigating the dramatic planet, I am determined to continue the pragrefs, even though I am decreed to pafs through a fog in my decleniion-— my daugh- ter BET too feems refolved to follow her fa- ther's example— as it is difficult you know to make a proper provifion for girls, I believe I fnall not retard her wifties j and ihould ihe be ever fortunate enough to keep her coach, and circulate her beheft among the bipeds of the kitchen, no one can throw it in her teeth, that her father was a tailor ! !
Though WHITLEY did not give either EDWIN or WAL DEC RAVE an engagement^ he contrived to engage their attention at
VOL. I, L Bow-
BOWDEN'S*, the theatric public houfe m Manchefter — during the courfe of their ftay there, a perfon employed to deliver bills for the next night, 'put one on the table, which was constructed as follows :
THEATRE, MANCHESTER.
This prefent Monday, Nov. 26th, 1766. By defire of Mrs. NUBES, For the Benefit of
Mr. RICH,
Who refpeclfully informs his friends and the public, that in confequence of his engage- ment for the winter feafon at the Theatre Royal, Edinburgh, his performance at this place, intended only at firft for a cer- tain number of nights, will terminate to-morrow evening, when his patrons will be prefented with
A PRELUDE, called FUN upon FUN,
OR WIT at a PINCH.
; The father of the vocal performer of the fame naitie, '-•who performed two years fince at Covwit Garden Theatre.
( '47 )
Mr. WARREK, Noddy Mr. LEIGHTON,
Gripeall — : — Mr. SAUNDERS,
Polly Mrs. W. SAUNDERS,
And Harry, (the intriguing foptman) by Mr. RICH.
In which character he will transform him- into a GIANT LIK.E STATUE of ALEXAN- DER the GREAT, and a CHILD of Two YEARS OLD ! ! !
End of the Prelude a Song, by Mr.
WARWICK.
After which (by defire) will be performed
the admired Comedy of the
BEAUX STRATAGEM.
Archer ^ — Mr. SAUNDERS.
Almwell Mr. COLLINS.
'Gibbet Mr. TYLAR.
Eonmface- Mr. DEVAULLE.
Sullen .—Mr. W. SAUNDERS.
And Scrub by Mr. RICH.
In which character he will introduce a new fong, defcribing to the audience,
O WHAT a BEAU His GRANNy Was ! L 2
Dorlnda - Mrs. MILLS. Chewy -- Mrs. GREMVILLE. ' - Mrs. SMART.
Lad^ Bountiful — Mrs. Lowe.
AND
Mrs. Sullen — — --Mrs. COLLINS.
To which. wiD be added, the Mufical enter- tainment of
The BRITISH TAR 5 OR
THOMAS and SALLY.
The Sqpfae?. - Mr. TYLAR.
AND
Thomas, (the Sailor)— Mr. RICH. Dor fas, -- Mrs. MILLS,
AND
Sally - : - Mils. COLLINS.
A Hornpipe by Mr. LEXGHTON. After the dance Mr. TYLAR -will attempt the minuet in Ariadne, on a broomftick ; in the manner of the late MATTHEW SKEGGS — after which a new fpeaking, finging, comic, defcriptive and clafikaly andcircumftantial Oration, called the
RlCHONJAN
f '^ )
RlCHONTAN BUDGET, O R
PEEPING TOM'S ramble through Coventry, humoroufly defctibing obfervadons in his adventures through the Town and its environs, &c. &c.
Pariuularfyy
The Rivers T o K and I s w E L L, The MANCHESTER MANUFACTURES,
The COLLEGE, The MARKET PLACE, And the THEATRE, by
Mr. RICH. The whole to conclude with an addrefs9 in
which Mr. RICH will divulge a MATRIMONIAL-SECRET;
O R
A new way to keep a Wife at home •! ! !
N. B. On account of the length and great variety of entertainments, Mr. RICH pledges himfelf to the public, that the cur-- tain lhall rife precifely at half pad fix, and the whole of the performance conclude at half pafl ten o'clock.
L 3 .». Mr.
#% Mr. RICH refpectively begs leave to inform his friends and the public, that he has been anxioufly ftudious in the ielectiqn of the above pieces — he has endeavoured to unite NOVELTY \vith ME.UT, and has in c6nfequence of that determination fpare$ no expence, in obtaining for them an unexcep- tionable evening's entertainment — the Play is univerfally acknowledged to be the very beftproduction of the celebratedFARQUAH AR, and not inferior to the firft of our Englifli Comedies for * delicate wit and true genuine humour — The PRZLUDF, he flatters him- felfj will be found highly laughable; and tfie local and defcri^tive humour, or Peeping 1'om s ramble, cannot fail to give an additional zeft to the night's diverfion — Mr. TYLAR'S m'niuet is expected to give general fatis-
* Mr. RICH could not poffibly allude to a female Comedy, for all the ladies from Mrs. BEHN down to Mrs. COWLEY, who have written for the Enjlifh ftnge, have been notorious for the freedom of their thoughts, and the indelicacy of their language— their invention feems fo obedient to their fenfuafity, that t! e; want the ability to create a jeft, not analogous to Hbeitinifm.
faflion.
faction, as well as the addrefs and matr'.mo- niatfecret.
The whole of the night's performance will be fupported by the united ftrength of the company. Mr. RICH prefumes to hope, that his exertions on this occafion will meet with that approbation and fupport, which it will be his chiefeft pride to merit,
The way will be fwept to the The- atre, and the Houfe illuminated with wax.
N. B. It will be MOONLIGHT.
Tickets and places for the boxes to be taken of Mr. RICH, at Mr. DIZZY'S Shoe- maker, No. 31, Penny ftreet, and of Mr. SLY, Box-keeper at the Theatre.
So much for a country play bill j the con-
fequence of which was a prodigious overflow
from ail parts of the Theatre, and Mr.
J, 4
RICH the only perfon pleafed with tho night's entertainment — the ample premife of the bill was literally the puff dirtcl: — the pieces announced were not half performed —the candles, inflead of wax, were made of oflsenfive tallow — the way to the Theatre was in fome places over fhoes in mud, and thofe who never confuit an Almanack, or the.mouons of the luminous bodies in the firmament, had the mortification, when they came out of the play-houfe, to find it was not moon-light.
The grofs impofitions of this night, did confiderable injury to two or three fucceed- ing benefits, which produced a difputc between Mr. RICH and Mr. BALL the Tragedian j the quarrel ended in a fight to the difadvantage of the Comedian, and the bufkin triumphed over the lock — Mr. RICH was led home with t\vo black eyes, hereto- fore grey, and Mr. BALL kept the field, to receive the congratulations of thole, who thought themfelves obliquely infulted by Mr. RICH and his long bill.
Although
Although WH ITLLY was evermore garru- lous, yet his profefiional document ieldora had the propofed effect — his performers con- fideied talking much as an old man's privi- lege, and did not refill his innoxious endea- vours to be thought wifer than his neighbours — but the recommendatory axiom fell from his tongue, like grain upon a rock, no pro- duce iilued from the intended bleffing, in ftiort, his company were a band of merry ingrates, who imagined his advice, like the philofophy of Bolingbroke, or the politics of Machiavel, ruinous to [the object \vhq embraced the fyilem.
EDWIN began to feel himfelf in an auk-r ward fituation, out of employment, and reding for the means of fubfiftence upon the purfe of another ; to avoid which he engaged in the performance of fome periodical pub- lications, and affiiled Mr. HARRUP in rjie Conducl of the
MANCHESTER MERCURY.
A
C >J4 >
A man who has a lively fancy, cannot indulge its dictates fo completely in any fituation, as through the medium of a news- paper ; to give a ilriking example of this remavk, I will fubjoin fome inftances. In one plsce we find the victory of a general, in another the defertion of a private foldier : A man who is by no means big enough for the Gazette, may eafiiy creep into a common ad- vertifement, by which means we often fee an Apothecary in the fame paper v ith a Pleni- potentiary, or a footman arranged with an AmbaiTador — a difafter in Piccadilly, goes down to poflerity with an article front Madrid j and Humphries and Mendoza, Old Wigs ana the Chefhire-wag*on, are mentioned in the fame paper with the twelve Judges and the Emperor of Germany — if a man has an ach in his hend, or fpots on his cloaths, he may there meet with an antidote to pain, and a remedy for pollution —If a man would recover his wife, or a horfe that is (lolen or flrayed, if he wants new fermons, electuaries, affcs milk or a country lodging, a newfpafper will procure them all.
Among
( 155 )
Among the wants in a newfpaper, the following was interwoven — Wanted for a family who have bad health, a fober fteady perfon in the capacity of Doctor, Surgeon, Apothecary and Man midwife : he miift occafionally aft in the capacity of Butler, drid drefs hair and wigs : he will be required to read prayers occafionally — and a fermon every Sunday evening — the reafon cf advertifing is, that the family cannot any longer afford the expences of the phyficul Jmtfr) and wifh to be at a certain expence, A good falary will be given.
N. B. He will have the liberty to turn a penny in any branch of his profeffion, when not wanted in the family. Whoever this may fuit, are defired to apply to X. Y. Z. No. 1 6, Fludyer-ftreet, Wellminfter.
The eccentricity of the above notice, can only be equalled by the whimficality of the following. Lolt between light and dark, Between fix and feven o'clock, from a houle between Cheapfide and Cateaton-ilreet, A young Woman, between feventeen and
eighteen,
( '56 •)
eighteen, between tall and fhort, between plump and lean, her hair between chefnut and auburn, in a changeable gown between purple and yellow, fuppofed to be gone off (between friends) with one IGNATIUS, a Creole between black and white : as there has been forrething between them of a particu- lar nature, whoever can give an account of her between this and Saturday next, to her diftra&ed father, who is now between hope and fear, fhall receive between ten, and twenty pounds as a reward,
Pleafe to direct with any initials between A and Z, to a houfe between Cheapfide and King-ftreet,
A collection of advertifements is a kind of national mifcellany, the writers of which, contrary to the practice of mod authors3 give money for the publication : the genius of the printer is manifefted in the arrange- ment of thefe little tracts of intelligence, and you may often fee them in the following order.
^Every
Every man his own Letter writer.
Every man his own Phyfician.
Every man his own Clergyman.
The complete Englifh Cook, with the art of
pickling.
An- immediate convenience for any Lady, whofe fituation requires a temporary re- tirement.
WANTS a place, as wet nurfe, in a. gen- tleman's family, a- young woman with an exceeding good breaft of milk. N. B. fhe has been examined, and approved by the faculty.
WANTED — A. young man as footman, he mud know how to Ihave and drefs hair, fpeak the German, Italian, and French languages with fluency j wait at table with addrefs, and be well acquainted with the bu- fmefs ofthefideboard — wages ten pounds a year with perquifites.
Any Lady under thirty years of age, who is fweet. tempered and not too fat, and wifhes to enter into the delightful ftate of matrimo- ny, may hear of a partner, amiable in his 5 perfon,
( '53 )
j?crf'>n, ?nd who is quite indifferent as to the complexion of his wife, and other at- tractive circumflances, by application to N* O. at Mr. JAS*:Y'S Peruke maker, Little Brhain. N. B. To prevent trouble, the Lady mufl poffefs an independent fortune*
RATS and MICE extirpated from any dwelling 'on moderate terms, by MARY MUSCIPULA, Ratcatcher to the King of Po- land.
H y G E i A s TEMPLE.
Any ..perfon afflicted \vit^ any diforder, whether internal, external, abdominal, or ^hereditary, may be irifl.antly relieved by- fending their wa'jer in a bottle (rj::ih a fet) to DOCTOR DIACULUM on London v/d!.
N. B. No Cure no Pay.
By his Majefty's Royal Letters Patent — > this is to inform the nobility and Gentry, that BARNABY PETITE, fole inventor of the Dentiscalpa or Imperial TOOTH PICK, has now a grest afifortrnent icady^for their ufe :
As
As the importance and utility of thefc inge« niotiily conftructed inftruments has been univerfally acknowledged, the adveriiibr thinks it unneceffary to enlarge upon their merits.
NOW IS YOUR TIME.
Fortune Favours the Bold.
At the old eftablilhed LOTTERY OFFICE, Number one hundred and eleventy,Knave's- acre, blanks and frizes are Ibid much under the real value —
By BRODERICK BLARNEY and Co.
N. B. By the way of encouragement to young adventurers, fve hundred pounds will be given away for nothing, and an undrawn ticket to boot.
WANTED by one of thslroquois nations, a Generalliffimo or cbfff — he muft bring un- qullionable proofs of his courage, and bs
able
( 160 )
to throw the hatchet — his nofe mud: be aquiline — his ftature fix feet and an inch, his complexion tawny, and the colour of his hair raven grey— Whoever this may fuit, is requefted to fend his addrefs to SPADO TO- MAHAWK, at the fign of the Lion and Lamb in
N* B. He niuft have no religious pre- judices. And a Cock, a Butcher, or a Critic^ would bfc moft welcome*
WANTED an c.grccalle companion for a pojt chaljCy to go to Geneva — he muft not weigh more than eighteen Hone — his difpofition muft be placid and his morals irreproacha- ble — whoever this may fuit, is requefted to leave his addrefs with PETER SOURCROUT, Efq. who lodges at an undertaker's, juft be- fore you get to Pall MalL
N. B. He mud not fleep in the chaife, be a good Geographer, and take fnuff.
LOST
LOST on Sunday laft in the Green Park, a black Greyhound, with a white fpot on the left ear, and a tail about three inches in length; whoever brings it to the COUNTESS ofKiLKUBRY, in Cavendifh Square, fhall receive five guineas reward.
LOST, a Child about four years of age j he had on a white frock, a blue fafh, red fhoes and filver clafps ; whoever brings him to his difconfolate parents, at No. 17, Turnagain Lane, Cripplegate, fhall receive their moft grateful thanks.
Ex pfde hercukm : from this fpecimen, the reader may be enabled to judge of that vaft mafs of multifarious abfurdity, which is daily- offered to the infatiate appetite of JOHN BULL — but he is a docile, credulous brute, xvho gorges his food without examining its quality, and like a mufcular drunkard, hopes to elude a confequent ficknefs by the force of a flrong conflitution.
Perhaps it may not be deemed either
irrelative or impertinent, if I annex a cor-
VOL. I. M reft
reft lift of all the daily newfpapers now in circulation in this metropolis.
DAILY NEWSPAPERS.
The DIARY, The ORACLE, The MORN- ING CHRONICLE, The WORLD, The TIMES, The MORNING TOST, The HE- RALD, The GENERAL ADVERTISER, The GAZETTEER, The PUBLIC ADVERTISER, The ARGUS, The DAILY ADVERTISER^ The LEDGER, and the STAR.
And though the inconfiftency of our na- tional chara&er is rendered fo confpicuous to foreigners, through the medium of the public prints, it is equally notorious in the ipirit of our laws*. By their unjuftifiable
inter- There are not wanting thofe who boldly affirm, that the laws'of this country are unexceptionable in every point of view, and who arrogantly would hold them forth to the world as examples of perfeft legiflation— thofe who bend to all fupremacy, whether well or ill eftablifned, may yield up their experience to the fallacy of intercfted opinion,. but of that number am not I — we have mifeiy- frairght inftances daily, when honeft mea are facrificed to
the
interpretation the impulfc of honor becomes a ferious evil, and though we are taught to nurture it in our youth as a beautiful com- panion, we have the regret to find, that in many fituations, its dictates are pernicious: and proves fomewhat like the influence of the fun, whofe beams firft mature the grape and then four its juices — I fhould be happy to know how a man, who wiflies well to foci- ety and bows obedient to the laws, can pafs through the ranks of focial life with peace
the inexplicable jargon of what the profefibrs term the letter of the law, while the moft confummate villains can crouch fecurely under its magical prote6tion, and fmile at the wrilhiHgs of virtue — The a'ntient, intolerable power \vhich the pricjl formerly excrcifed over the afinine million, is now ufurped by the lawyer — he goads the hamlet at his pleafure, and riots unchecked, becaufe he is too formida- ble for common refinance— he can beggar without re- proof the Orphan in the Nurfery, and the Widow in her Weeds— he can be infamous without rcfponiibility, be- caufe the mazes of the law are impervious, even to the eye of wifdom — and that human atrocity might exift without reproach, it has been gravely afTerted and vehemently upheld, that TRUTH is A LIBEL, thereby deftroyinj, the refentrr.cnt and the advantages of moral dignity — our lifter kingdom has fpurned at the monftrous abfurdity, but JOHN BULL is a vile apathifed beaft, that every info- lent defpot may Lick from Kent to Cornwall!—
M 2 Of
of mind, when our flatutes and our cuftomS are hoftHe to each other — on the one hand, honor rigoroufty condemns the man who patiently fubmits to the lie taken -} on the other, our courts of judicature i flue their thunders againft any revenge taken for the lie given — by the law of arms he is degraded who puts up an affront — by the civil law, he that adopts vengeance incurs a capital pu- nifhment — He that feeks redrefs by the law for an affront infures difgrace — and he that feeks redrefs by his arm is liable to die pe.- rialties of the law.
Under fuch contradictory circumftances, who can do right — in a fea fo incumbered by breakers, who can fleer the helm of his happinefs with fecurity ,?
For fuch ills we are indebted to the pro- grefs of refinement — in the earlier ages fo-r ciety moved in a fimple manner; and what we underftand by the term Luxury, was then unknown — Rachd, Rebecca, and the daughters of Jethro tended their father's flocks—- they were really iheperdefies, artlefs
as
f 165 )
as thofe of whom Theocritus has fo inimi- tably fung — in whofe days young women of faihion drew water from the well with their own hands — UlyfTes was not afhamed to carve and decorate his bridal bed, and Pe- nelope never thought her hero's glory was diminiihedj becaufe he condefcended to be his own carpenter-^-the princefs Naufica wafhed the linen of her family at a brook, and the princes her brothers were accuftom- ed to wait for her return to unyoke the car, and carry in the wet drapery — even the fe- minine deities in the proudefr, periods of paganifm, pafled their moments in fpinning, and it was probably from this caufe that the young women of Great Britain are denomi- nated fpinfters.
In our days ambition erects her garifli banners in every town and village of the kingdom, and pride impels the peafant to tread upon the heels of the peer — Every woman we meet expects to be diftinguilhed by the appellation of Lady, which is now generally conferred on all females, from a duchefs to a dairy-maid — it is not unufual M 3 to
( 166 )
to hear the following polite colloquy in the upper gallery of a theatre :
" Don't lean over that there ladj, fir. '* " Damme, what's the ladj to me, fir ?"
The lamp-lighter, duft man, the fhoe- black and the porter, who rove on a Sunday with their fpoufes to dine at Mother Red Cap's on the Highgate road,
<; Vont touch no \vlttles 'till the ladies is helpt."
Every woman on the fabbath, however mean her condition, confiders herfelf as le- gally entitled to fuch honors, and never fails to Ihew fymptons of mortification, if Ihe is not dignified as a lady; — having ftudied the vocabulary of affeftation, flie imagines it is polite to fcrew up her mouth, till the aper- ture refembles a fmall purie, and then mumbles thus ;
Mem — purdigious — veaiily — axquifitc — My flars and garters its quite the Bung-tun."
And
And many other words equally well pro- nounced, and equally well applied*.
I confider human nature as a large volume of humourous contrarieties, and in which caprice and folly have interlined the argu- ments of morality — obfervation has an end- lefs field in this town — the oppofition of character is marvellous — fome people fpeak
:;' I fhall here annex a proof, that a deviation from the common mode of expreffion, is fometimes attended with the beft effects to the inventor — there was a trial in Guild- hall, about an affray that happened in the ftreet, a few years fince,before Lord MANSFIELD— theprincipal witnefs was an adept in that fort of language, which the young ladies and gentlemen of Broad St. Giles term Jiang — he thus addrefled the bench—1' Vy, my LORD, as I vas coming by the corner of the ftreet, \flaggedt\\e man"— " Pray," faidLop.D MANSFIELD, " be fo kind, as to in- form me what yon mean by flagging a man'' — *' Stfigg'tngt my Lord ! vy d'ye fee I was down uptn him"-—" I confefs I am now as much in the dark as ever; what can you in- tend by being d^-^i upon him ? do fpcak to be underftood" — " Vy, an ple.ife your Lordfhip, I fpeaks as veil as I can, I vas up to all be knew" — " Pflia !" faid the judge — " vel then my Lord, I'll tell you how it vas'' — "Aye, now do" — " Vy, feeing, my Lord, as how he vas a rum kiddy, I vas one upon his tao>"-~In fhort, he was hurried out of court, and the trial becr.nie incomplete from the acquired habits of vulgarity,
M4 be-
before they think — others carefully flitdy every thing they utter — Young ladies who read novels commonly abound in the fub- joined phrafes.
BY the BY£,
AND IN SHORT, AND THE "WHOLE AFFAIR IS THIS.
Such nymphs exprefimg their thoughts, pratethus: " Injhort, fir, I found Mr. TULIP troublefome, I wanted to get away, but by the bye, he would not let me : for the whole affair is this ; by the byey I have fome obli- gations to him, which in Ihort made me put up with his behaviour : fo that you find the whole affair was neceflity : which in Jhortt by the bye, was the whole affair.
Many of the fprigs of humanity, bipedal parrots, Petite Maitres — or pretty fellows, interlard their converfation with a continual repetition of the words,
D'YE SEE,
Ona
One of thofe animals, giving a defcrip- tion of a rencontre in Long-acre, between two barrow-women, faid, — " D'ye fee now, as how, that the two women had been, righting and abufing one another a long time d'ye fee, at laft the leaft of the two d'ye fee, threw fomething in the other's eyes d'ye fee, and fo fhecou'dn't fee d'ye fee?" " Yes, continued a pedantic gentleman, by way or illuftration, who always fpoke as if on ftilts, and had been a dictionary worm from his cradle -, the forked animal who had the worft of the battle was knocked down, and no one chufing to interfere, fhe was left expofed to the circumambient air, which prefling on the perfpiratory duels, coagula- ted the juices, andoccalior.eda cadaveroiity."
Thus is our tongue tortured — mifnomers multiplied, and our patience purgatorifed — but I will drop digreiTicn* and return to my .biographical labours.
EDWIN, who had been indifpofed during his whole ftay at Manchester, feeling himfelf every day become worfe, was obliged to
keep
('70 )
keep at home, and what was more difagree- ble to his feelings, dependent' upon the purfe of WALDEGR^VE for fupport — and this regret was redoubled, by W ALOE- GRAVE'S making fome ungenerous remarks to EDWIN, on his embarraffing fituation, and frequently told him that he muft inevi- tably die — As the Prince of burlettas was ever above an aft of meannefs, fuch taunts from his colleague were infupportable — he was refolved to fhake him from his friend- fhip, as foon as he was enabled to repay the money he had borrowed, and Hygeh, as if ready to fecond his refolution, removed the caufe of malady from his veins, and he re- covered almoft immediately, as if in defi- ance of WALDEGRAVE'S difpiriting predic- tion.
A young gentleman of the town furnilh- ed EDWIN with a fmall fum of money, with which he repaid his aflbciate and left his lodgings, at Mrs. DODD'S, a public houfe on Shnde hill, Manchefter, on Saturday morning the 2yth of December, 1776.
( I/I )
Now mom, her rofy fteps in the Eaftern climr, Advancing, fow'd the earth with orient pearl.
When the difcomfited EDWIN, tied up his rare habiliments in a fmall pocket hand- kerchief, the knot of which he attached to the hook of a crab flick, which he refted upon his right Ihoulder, and then hurried from the confines of the town with as much precipitation, as difcretion warrants to the pedeftrian in a ftate of convalefcence — when. he had journied peaceably, if not joyoufly, about twenty miles, in the hope of getting an engagement as an aclor, he difcovered that he had made a fmall miftake which had nearly proved ruinous, being fo reftridted in point of calh — This error originated in his forgetting the name of the town where the company of Comedians were — and an evil liar governing the hour, the unlucky infant of Momus went to Northwich in- (lead of Nantwich ; both being equally dif- tant from Manchefter, though they were not equally welcome to his expectations. This difappointment, added to his weak ftate of body, difheartened EDWIN very much >
however
( '7* )
however, he croffed a foreft in the vicinity the ne^t day and got to Chefter, where he neftled at Mrs. SMITH'S, the Ship, in Water- gate ftreet. In this abode he remained three days-^-on the fourth, walked to Wrexham— put up at thefign of the Cannon, a little pub- lic houle, where a nice bit of roaft Welch mutton waited his acceptance, and the civi- lities of the landlord and landlady, with their agreeable, though rufticated converfation, made the comic traveller extremely happy till bed time — 4n the paroxyfm of their dif- courfe, EDWIN did not fail to make unlimi- ted ufe of the mandevilian privilege of fub- orning the marvellous to his imagination, and as he found that the kind hoft and hoftefs of the Cannon had never been in or near the metropolis, bounced not a little upon its beauties and its properties — he told them that the national debt was nine hundred thoufand millions, feven hundred, and fixty four pounds eight {hillings and fourpence— That the vileft utenfil of my Lord Mayor was made of burnifhed gold — that every alley was as wide as the high ftreet of Wrex- ham— that a cobler got more money than 5 a Den-
a Denbyfhire juftice, and every body wore fine linen and kept open^houiV — but even thij firing of extravagances were not either too coarfe in their texture, or too palpable in their deformed features, for the credulous and capacious fancies of the Welchmanand his yoke fellow, who conftantly chorufled in unifon, every account of the wonders of London, by the fimple exclamation of Cot plefs hur ! ! !
When the day became fickened, and was near giving up the ghoft — when the ena- moured Onus was flealing away iti filenc pomp adown the weftern cloud — when the Antipodes were ringing up their dorneftics, to prepare the breakfaft at the approach of morn — when the pulfes of Thetis beat quick, while her coral chamber was dimly illuminated with diftant fiaflies from her lover's eye, who was riding poll to her em- braces— to be brief, at the approach of night, as EDWIN was quaffing his ale in a cor- ner, his ears were faluted with the concord of fweet founds which iflfued from a neighbour- ing room — the event was not myfterious —
there
( 174 )
there the niece of the hoft of the Cannoa was fcouring her trenchers, and wooden fpoons, and to prove how little fhe valued time or his adminiftration, fung it away -with an indifference truly philofophic — the ravifhed EDWIN could not retain his filence — his admiration was paramount, and he aftonifhed the brown wench thus —
Sure fomething holy lodges in that breaft, And with thofe raptures moves the vocal air, To teftify his hidden refidence. How fwcetiy did they float upon the wings Of (ilence ! Thus the empty vaulted night, At every fall, fir.oothing the raven down Of darknefs till it fmil'd
The effect of this exclamation was not propitious to his wifhes — the girl fcudded away in affright, and the lord and lady of the auberge dared at the unrazored Rofcius in fuch a manner, as plainly conveyed an idea that they imagined his underftanding \vas imperfect — as this incident tended to cool that warmth of communication ex- hibited at their firft interview, the player retired within himfelf fomewhat fulkily, and fat immerfed in thought, until a general yawn fignified it vras bed time. —
«' The
( 175 )
" The curfew toll'd the knell of parting day."
And EDWIN bowed obedient to the fummons — he fought the oblivious couch — fhook off the incumbrances of his perfon — extinguifhed the narrow taper — leapt be- tween the fheets manufactured by the rofeate nymphs of Cambria, from remnants of coarfe dowlas— uttered a prayer of thanks- giving to his Creator — then an invocation to Somnus, and turning upon the dexter fide of his fatigued frame, would have flept incontinently, but the nocturnal gambols of the mice in the cheefe clofet, and the rats upon the floor, forbid the completion of fo enviable a bleffing — At two a clock in the morning, a number of thefe wall-boring quadrupeds from Norway, had affembled in the comedian's chamber, and from the force of loud fqueeking in different dif- cordant notes, threw the affrighted fon of Thefpis into a flate of violent trepidation — Jn thofe intervals when his reafon had nearly fubdued his terrors, he praclifed a variety of arts to banifh fuch unwelcome inmates ; firft he took up the Jordan, and flealing to the fpot where the congrefs 4 feemed
( 176)
Teemed mod numerous, emptied it upon the collective body — this manoeuvre had a temporary efrecl only, as the rats returned to their charge in ten minutes, with accu- mulated force — he then adopted another iKuriciuiau meafure, and deftroyed the h.irmony of a nuptial catch, by throwing the pillows with all the force he could, where the four-footed minftrelshad cluttered thicken; — this expedient was ruinous to the concert, but did not anfwer the defired purpofe — the rats recovered their ranks, and, as if in contempt of EDWIN'S indig- nation, began their revels again with more infernal triumph than before — Both thefe devices having mifcarried, the perturbed adherent to Thalia, gave himfelf up to defpair — his corporeal juices ifTued from every pore — his fhort fnirt fir ft became humid, and then wet — the bed-frame fnook under him, for he thought that fomething preternatural influenced the rats to fhake his repofe, and he certainly would have fainted, if his guardian genius had not fug- gefted a timely effort of cunning — this fug- geftion was to borrow the vocal organs of
a cat.
( '77 )
a cat — EDWIN luckily was not unhappy at imitation — he mewed three times — firft, Piano, fecondly, in alto, and thirdly, in •veca alto — the firfl effay alarmed — the fecond divided the grand body, and the third drove them all with precipitation from the precincts of his little white-wafhed recefs.
Relieved from intruders and overpowered with toil, our hero funk into reft, and was very happy to find on a thorough examin- ation the next morning, that his perfon was unwounded, and his portable pTopertiet entire.
When he defcended at break of day into the kitchen of the welch Hotel — the land- lord met him with a kind falutation, and enquired with much folicitude, how he had retted the preceding night — As EDWIN had received no bodily injury, and did not mean to repeat the trial, he thought it a* well to appear fatisfied as otherwife— The tea apparatus being difplayed upon a round deal table, almoft white by tjje rubbings of
VOL, I, N cleanlinef*,
( '78 )
cleanlinefs, including feme oaten and a pan of Irifh butter, he fat down with the lord of the manfion and his ruddy mate, and after drinking nine cups of die diilillation of Souchong, and eating three flices from the hufky loaf, each one inch and a half in thicknefs, called for his bill, •which run precifely thus,
s. d.
Roaft Mutton ---06 Bread ------ o I
Apple-pye - - - -03
Three pints of Ale --06 Tobacco ----- o I
Brandy - - - --oi|
Toafted Chcefe - - - o I
Bed 03
Breakfaft --.--04
The amount of this bill, though feemingljr reafonable and cheap, was confidered then as fmgularly exorbitant — The irafcible ven- der of ale and cheefe, at the Cannon, being
a repu-
( '79 )
a reputed mifer, who would refufe credit to the Curate,jif he had not wherewith to pay*.
Though Wrexham can only be con- fidered as hanging upon the fkirts of Wales, it then partook of the proverbial cheapnek of that mountainous extremity of Britain ; where EDWIN had board and lodging of the beft fort for fo fmall a confideration as five fhillings a week, and has feen in- ftances of people refident in fome of the interior parts, whofe feveral incomes have not been more than twenty pounds a year, in as much feeming comfort and propriety of life, as others in London on the annual expenditure of one hundred and fifty — but Wales, like the reft of the kingdom, has, fince that period, received the baneful approaches of Luxury, and confsquently
* It has been confidently affirmed as marvellous proofs of the efficacy of avarice, that Foote unneceflarily en- tlured an amputation^ to procure a patent from the late DUKE of YORK, and that an Irifh failor, who wanted Jome money to go to Dublin, actually received thirty pounds at Portfinouth, to be fliot the next day in the place of ADMIRAL BYNG.
N 2 loft
loft much of its ancient funplicity of man,' ners ; for Luxury may increafc the expence, but never adds to the felicity of the in- dividual.
The bill being paid — a faddle horfe prcv cured, and the unaffected bleffing of the hoft and his wife administered — EDWIN jjeftrode his Bucephalus, on the firft day of January 1767, turned the nofe of his fteed towards Ofweftry, and rode off in the ar- dent expectation of meeting Mr. HEATON'S Company — the ianguine comedian arrived fafe at Ofweftry, but did not meet with th* object of his fearch, Mr. HEATOX, with all his fuite, having left the place a few weeks before.
EDWIN- laid claim to the offices of hof- pitality in the houfe of a Mr. GRIFFITH, who fold good liquor, by the virtue of a licence, at the fign of the Woolpack — There was a vifible hauteur in the mien of Mr. GRIFFITH — a certain oftentatious grandnefs of manner, which EDWIN thought detri- mental to his purpofcs — to ibften or remove
that
that illegitimate fpecies of dignity, the raw and ragged follower of the mufes adop- ted an expedient, which has been pra&ifed fuccefsfully by numerous great men, in the hour of necefiity, from Plato to PFPPER ARDEN- — this humanizing medium was flattery* — dele&able, ruinous flattery, whofc pernicious influence defpoils the virgin of her purity, and the ftatefman of hi* ho- nour— Illiberality of his pence, and def- peration of his pang — it operates like an. indiftincl: delegate of omnipotence — turns the ftream of human affections, and makes our prejudice fubordinate to our abhorrence.
He
• "When GA RR ic K returned from Italy, he prepared aa addrefs to the audience, which he delivered to the play he firft appeared in. When he came upon the fbge, he was welcomed with tbree loud plaudits, each finifhiny: with a huzza. When this unprecedented applaufe bad nearly fubfided, he ufed .every art to lull the tumult into a profound filence, and, juft as all was huflred as death, and anxious expectation fat on every face, old CARVETTO, who was better known by the appellation of NOSEY, anticipated the firft line of the addrefs by— aw — aw— a moft tremendous yawn. A convulfion of Jaughter enfued, and it was then fome minutes before the wifhtd-for filence could be again reftored. That, however, ft 3 obtained,
He continued in this retreat a few days, during which time he wrote to Mr. HEATON, who was then with his troop of meny-rnen, atBewdley, in Worcefterftiire,
obtained — GARRICK delivered his addrefs with hi* wonted fafcination of manner, and retired with ap- plaufe, fuch as was never better given or deferved — but the matter did not reft here — The moment he came off the ftage, he flew like the lightning's flam to the mufiq room, u here., collaring the aftonifhed NOSEY, he began to abufe him moft vociferoufly — " Wha — why — you old fcoundrel— you muft be the moft infernal'7 — at length poor CARVETTO— " oh Miftera GARRICK ! vat is the matter — vat I haf do— oh God vat is it :'' — " The matter ! whyyouold,damned,eternal, fenfelefs ideot — with no more brains than your cnrfed bafs viol — -juft at the — a — very moment I had played with the audience — tickled them 'ike a trout, and brought them to the moft accommo- dating filence — as pat to my purpofc — fo perfect — that it was, as one may fay, a companion for MILTON'S viiible darknefs— juft at that critical moment did not you, \vith your damned jaws fti etched wide enough to iwallow a peck loaf — yaw — -yawn and be curft to you?— Oh I wifli from my foul you had never fhut your brown jaws again" — " Sare, Miftera GARRICK, Sare — only if you pleafe hear me von vord — it is alvay the vay — it is indeed, Miftera GARRICK, alvay the vay I go when I haf the. jreateft rapture, Miftera GARRICK" — CARVETTO'S fiat" tery fubdued GARRICK'S anger, and the fuppofed offence ranifhed with the inftant !
for
for an engagement, and money to bear his expences to the feat of war,
At the expiration of four days, time brought both, and the demands of Mr. GRIFFITH being fatisfied, he mounted his garron once more on the loth of the fame month, and fet out for Shrewsbury, accom- panied by his landlord; they arrived at this magazine of Shrop(hire, at the ufual hour of dinner— -the weather being very cold and frofty, and EDWIN unblefs'd with boots, he was obliged to continue longer at Shrewf- bury than he intended, to reftore his facul- ties to their proper tone, and recover the ufe of his languid limbs*
It was almoft dark when the fhattered appendage of comedy had refolved to con- tinue his rout; but a long ride in the dark through roads he had never feen before, and a crofs a country whofe geography he knew not, brought him at laft to the fign of the Shoulder of Mutton, at Bridgnorth,
N 4. A man
A man had been difpatched on foot from Shrew/bury, an hour before the player be- gan his journey, for the purpofe of bringing back the horfe — EDWIN not only found ' that man on his arrival, but a good fire, and all thofe variegated complexions of comfort with which Plenty ever beautifies the dwelling fhe has bleft — He furveyed the ap- purtenances of the inn with a finile — his warm fancy anticipated a good fupper and a fofc bed; and he ruminated on what was to enfue, 'till ideal pleafure triumphed over the rude imprefTions of toil.
The fum total of the bill at the Shoulder of Mutton, drew the laft marvedi from ED- WIN'S purfe — of choices, he had but two left, either to remain pennylefs at Bridg- north, or to feek Bewdley on foot — he em- braced the latter, and after rambling many miles, frequently up to the knees in fnow, with no other defence for his legs but a pair of white filk ftockings darned three inches above the flioe, eventually faw with incon- ceivable delight the fpires of Bewdley ri- fing above the circumvolving fmoke — The
gladdening object reinvigorated his nervous fyfrem — he added fpeed to his will, and in a quarter of an hour fcrapcd :he Ihov/ from his $antoufles at the threfhold of the Talbot, L an inn of the fecond quality at. Bewdley, and kept at that period by a Mr. HAD- DOCKS, where he remained a few Hours in date to receive the cuftomary congratula- tions of the fir oil ing manager, and ibme of the principal performers on his arrival.
When the comic deputation entered the room of the inn, EDWIN received them •with naked legs, (his filk hofe, the only pair he had, being then under the -hands of the BlancbeceiiJJe, to be purified and embla- zoned againft the next morning)— -a face as fliarp as a regimental razor at the horfc- guards, and a liquifying nofe, the tip of which had been tinted with a deep blue by the bufy minions of Boreas.
After mutual enquiries between the ma- nager and the dependant, as to the ftate of the company — the difpofitiort of the towns- people, and the ability of the candidates,
the
( 186 )
the part of SCRUB was feleded as the moil proper for EDWIN'S firfl appearance before the critical auditory of Bewdley — The next day was fixed for the awful debut, and our laugh-infpiring adventurer had the fublime fatisfaction of adminiftering pleafure to a matchlefs concourfe of fome fixty perfons in a large barn ; and the fingular honor to re- ceive the compliments of Mr. LOOK, a xmfter baker, who was not only efteemed as the bed critic in the place, but likewife as a man who could read Latin, make verfes. to Chloe as well as the laureat, and more- over, a great politician, and an excellent bruifer.
While EDWIN remained under the aufpices of Mr. HEATON, he was made, as the aftors phrafe it, ufefuly and aflumed all characters of all defcriptions in tragedy, comedy, opera, farce, pantomine, interlude, prelude, et cetera, and enacted without compunction or lhame, BAJAZET, HOB, and CHRONONHOTONTHOLOGUS on the fame
night,
night.* In all which